Tag Archives: solving problems

Top Sales Questions – Shelle’s Top Tips – Shelle Rose Charvet

Bookmark and Share

If you’re a salesperson, there are five questions that will let you know exactly what your customer wants, what they don’t want, and how to propose and position what it is you have to offer.

If you’re not a salesperson these questions will be useful every time you really need to understand what’s important to someone.

So here they are.

Questions #1 & 2 – What Do You Want? and What’s Important To You?

Many salespeople just forget to ask these questions.  A while ago, I went to buy a new luxury car. I decided to abandon my old mommy-mobile and get a new car for me. My kids were grown up.  It’s my turn for a beautiful luxury car.  We went to seven dealerships.

Out of those seven dealerships only one salesperson said, “Shelle, what do you want? What’s important to you about this car?” How are you going to position anything to me or show me a car, for example, if you don’t know that one of the things that’s important to me is that when I drive my new luxury car up to my prospective client’s place of business that they’d be impressed by my new car.

Now, I know that sounds superficial but that’s one of the things that was important to me.

I felt a little bit sorry for one of the younger salespersons and I said to him, “You didn’t ask me what was important to me.” Okay, he got a little defensive. I would have gotten defensive too. He said, “Well, I tried to find it out in the conversation. I think I did okay.” I said, “Oh, really? So what do I want? What’s important to me?” and he didn’t know.

Now, all of those salespeople asked me, “What car are you presently driving?” I said, “I don’t want to talk about it.” So it’s hidden in the back somewhere.

Write down what they say because the words the customer uses are the words that have a resonance for them.

If you want more information on Top Sales Questions and how to use them, check out my
Sales Booster Package – Increase Sales, Marketing & Customer Retention »

Question #3: Why Is That Important?

 Here what we’re trying to find out is one of the important motivations for you. Is the person trying to achieve or gain something from that or are they trying to prevent or solve a problem?

So if you say, “Shelle, why is it important for you to impress your customers?” I might say, “Because I want to feel successful” or “Because I want to look successful.” Those are things I want to gain. The Toward trigger.

Or I might say, “Well, I don’t want to look like I’m not successful,” and that would be moving Away From, and you may have heard me say this before, the trigger that’s moving away from what I don’t want.

This gives you an indication of how to speak to your customer. Either you show them what they’ll gain, this will enable you to look more successful with your customers, or what they’re trying to avoid. This way you won’t look like you’re unsuccessful with your customers.

Question #4 – How Will You Know if You’ve Made The Right Decision?

 “Excellent question,” you say.  With this question you’re trying to find out does the person decide for themselves, by their own criteria and their own judgments and we call that Internal or did they decide based on outside criteria or outside influences?  

“So Shelle, how will you know you’ve made the right decision about your car?” Shelle might say, “When it feels good. When I’m behind the wheel and I love it.” Well, that’s clearly Internal. So although I did seem to have some external influences, I know I’ve made the right decision myself.

Now, I could have answered the question, “Shelle, how will you know if you’ve made the right decision?” by saying, “When all those people I’m driving by smile at me and look like they’re impressed.” That’s more External.

So this gives you more information about what’s going to help that person decide or buy.

Question #5 – Why Did You Choose To Look For A Car Now?

The question, “Why did you choose..?” is going to give you two kinds of answers.

If the person gives you a list of reasons: an old car was rotten; I want a new car; I want something that fits me; as a salesperson you need to talk to them about all of the options that the car you are selling comes with.

If they don’t tell you why but instead they tell you the story of how it happened that they ended up needing a car, so for example, they’ll say, “Well, my old car broke down for the last time and it was going to cost a lot of money to fix it. So then I realized it probably wasn’t worth my while to fix it so I ended up having to look for a new car.” If they give you one of these stories that has all these events in it, they’re not so interested in all of the options with the car. They want to know how does it work and what do you have to do to buy it, what are the steps in the buying process.

So those are the top sales questions. What do you want? What’s important to you? Why is that important? How you know you made the right decision? And why did you choose to look for or to search for this thing now?

If you want more information on Top Sales Questions and how to use them, check out my
Sales Booster Package – Increase Sales, Marketing & Customer Retention »

For more “Shelle’s Top Tips” visit
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com »

I’d love to hear your feedback.  How was this article useful to you?  You can leave a comment below or message me directly at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com

Hope to hear from you.

Cheers,
Shelle

Great new NLP resources for Trainers. Reduce your preparation time!

Bookmark and Share

I have a resource for you that I highly recommend.

 

This information is for people who are corporate trainers or NLP trainers.

Would you like some new group exercises

or additions to the ones you’ve already got?

 

As you know, it can take hours and hours to find (or create)

the right exercises to fit your group and your program,

but it doesn’t have to any more!   

 

If you have some familiarity with NLP, here are

practical step-by-step exercises with instructions (with all the handouts etc.).

No more having to wade through loads of theory

to find the right activities.  

  

My friend, the talented NLP Trainer Andy Smith, has designed

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises specifically to

save you days or weeks of preparation time.

 

And for a limited time you get it for 25% off; an exclusive discount

just for my subscribers! (I asked him and he said yes!)

 

This special price is good until February 21st! Don’t miss out.

Want to see if you like it?  

Click here to download 3 group activities for free:

 

Want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off.

You may already know Andy’s work. He is the acclaimed author of

Practical NLP: How to use NLP principles

to improve your life and work, even if you’re not NLP trained.

 

Andy says:

“My aim in writing this exercise pack was to make it the best resource out there for trainers. Pretty much everything I have learned in years of running NLP courses is in there. It’s the resource that I wish had been available when I was a newly-qualified NLP trainer years ago!”

 

I’m not the only one who really appreciates Andy’s work:

 

“At last! – an outstanding, comprehensive and tremendously practical collection of dynamic NLP exercises skilfully brought together that you can adapt to use in trainings, coaching, therapy or NLP practise groups. 

Andy has generously included an invaluable in-depth introduction that includes design of content delivery, how to frame exercises, choosing and briefing assistants and terms and conditions for your course.

He efficiently sets out each exercise with the timing, objective, procedure, what to expect, points to look out for, check and clarify and even FAQs where appropriate, thus ensuring you feel briefed, prepared and confident in your usage.

Andy has produced a resource of fantastic value, that no NLP professional (beginner or experienced) can afford to be without, which includes not only exercises but handouts and wall charts too!”

Balbir Chagger, NLP Trainer, Coach and Speaker 

www.balbirchagger.com 

 

“I’m pleased to wholeheartedly recommend this book to NLP Trainers, NLP Master Practitioners, AND well-trained NLP Practitioners alike. As one of the trainers Andy graciously referenced in this book as one of his sources for some of the exercises quoted in the book, I was profoundly impressed with this collection of valuable resources, organized beautifully and usefully. The book is written at a high enough level that even newly certified trainers will be able to make immediate use of the exercises for the groups they work with.

My opinion: New NLP Students ought to know that exercises from a book like this alone will never lead to becoming a great practitioner, so I don’t think this book is a good substitute for live training. Without the kind of knowledgeable mentorship that expands a students’ resources in optimal ways, exercises by themselves are aimless (and many are described at trainer level, with practitioner-candidate-level relevant knowledge omitted). But once you’ve become a Practitioner with 10 days or more of training behind you, get a copy of this book, and you’ll be able to continue developing your NLP skills powerfully!

This book is a phenomenal resource for skilled trainers who know what signs and patterns to look for in audiences, student behavior, awareness, filters, beliefs, limiting beliefs, learning patterns and strategies, and more. I’m confident it will expand any trainer’s repertoire of learning experiences. Every trainer should acquire a copy!

Jonathan Altfeld (Mastery InSight Institute of NLP)

www.altfeld.com

  

“Absolutely fabulous, packed full of enough detail to run the exercises with little preparation. Thanks for a great product.”

– Jenni Miller

 

“This is a must have if you are running NLP courses – and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing it. Andy has long had a reputation for providing top notch training, and this book is a wonderful and generous extension of his standards. It’s not only a resource, it’s a companion, packed as it is with his advice and commentary. This must have been a huge undertaking, and many will thank him for it for many years to come. I’m definitely one of them.”

 

Trevor Silvester, NLP and Hypnosis trainer

Author of ‘Wordweaving’ and ‘Lovebirds’ 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is so what I was looking for as I am teaching my first NLP Practitioner Course next month.  

I asked for it and there it was so much appreciated. 

Also love the way you present it.” 

Regards Maz, NSW Australia

 

Maz Schirmer, NLP Trainer

 

“Andy’s excellent ‘The Trainers Book of NLP Exercises’ is a very rich gold mine of exercises for both the NLP Trainer as well as NLP Practitioners and those of us who run NLP practice groups. The wealth of experiential exercises and structured, yet ‘pick and mix’ learning format is a absolute must have. Buy yourself a copy right now, you will be very very pleased!”

Nigel Hetherington – Master Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Trainer

 

“A fantastic book full of doable exercises. I can’t wait to start using them. The world of NLP owes Andy a huge gift of gratitude.”

– Peter Hirst

 

“Bought and used. Saved massive amounts of time and got a better result than I could have done under my own steam. Excellent product.”

Rintu Basu, NLP Trainer and author of ‘The Persuasion Skills Blackbook: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want

 

Here’s Andy’s description:

What’s in the Trainer’s Pack:

 

A printable e-book – 411 pages, 128 exercises,

plus handouts and wall charts.


PLUS

Word versions of the handouts and wall charts so

you can tailor or rebrand them for your courses!

  This resource kit could save you days or weeks of preparation!     

 

Exercise instructions with:

  • Objectives
  • Timings
  • Procedure
  • Suggested clear-up questions
  • Handout pages (where needed) that you can copy or modify
  • Wallcharts (where needed) that you can copy or modify

Clear exercise formats for:

  • developing NLP skills such as rapport and sensory acuity,
  • practising techniques such as anchoring and sub-modality shifts
  • learning language patterns and hypnotic skills
  • formats for problem solving and exploration, such as the “Disney Strategy”, “Neuro-Logical Levels” and the S.C.O.R.E. model
  • clarifying values and setting goals
  • sharpening questioning skills
  • strategy elicitation and modelling
  • increasing emotional awareness and social intelligence

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises also includes a

Microsoft Word document version of the handouts

so you can modify them, and searchable keywords so

you can quickly find activities for workshops on any topic

such as listening skills, self-esteem or assertiveness.

 

I suggest you check it out to see if this resource is right for you.

Click here for more information. 

 

Andy tells me that the exclusive 25% discount, with the   

Coupon Code:  shelle 

applies to any product in the ‘Tools For Trainers’

section of his store.  But only until Feb. 21st!

  

You can download three activities

from the Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises for free.

Check them out for yourself: Click here 

Or want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off. Until Feb 21st.

 

If you are a trainer, I really think you will appreciate

the quality of Andy’s work.

 

Cheers,

Shelle

PS: I am recommending it because I think it is a great resource for trainers.

 

Achieve Goals Using Your Own Success Strategies – Shelle’s Top Tips

Bookmark and Share

Let’s talk about ourselves for just a minute. A lot of people tell me they have tons of stuff that they want to do but they’re not able to get as much done as they would like and I’m not talking about time management issues. It’s about your strategy for achieving and your strategy to avoid dropping things that you really want to do.   Here’s a few tips.

  1. Your Success and Failure Strategies
    Write, jot down a quick list of the things that you’ve actually achieved over the last few months and the things you started to do or wanted to do but didn’t get done.  At a big picture level, can you see any success strategies from the things that you wrote down or any failure strategies that stop you from achieving that?
  1. Level of Importance
    If you have a look at your two lists and you’re able to identify what’s important and what isn’t important to you, do you see any patterns? Are your success strategies the ones you succeeded at more important to you and the other one is less important to you?

  2. Negative Consequences
    Here’s something that I found in my studying of what makes people successful in their goals and how do they avoid falling off the wagon. Well often people who are focused have deadlines and there are negative consequences for not achieving what you wanted to do at the time that you wanted to do it.  So have a check for the things that you succeeded at. Was there a negative consequence or something that you didn’t want to have happen? 

    I remember when I was writing the first draft of my very first book. I gave myself until September to finish the first draft.  The beginning of September arrived and guess what? I had a whole pile of courses and training and consulting lined up. The negative consequence would have been I wouldn’t have been able to get back at that book for months and that was something I really wanted to avoid.  So if you’ve got a negative consequence that you really want to avoid, that’s going to help you be more focused to be more motivated.

So my question to you is do you have lots of things that you’d like to be more successful at doing? Would you like to avoid having to put them off or just live with the fact that you didn’t do them?

Check out my mini E-Book. It’s called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving.

If you go to http://www.WishingWantingAchieving.com you will get this very short E-Book that will tell you how to model your own success in more detail so that you can find out exactly all your own success strategies. It also comes with a free MP3 download that you can listen to that’s going to help you focus and achieve more success and avoid having to live with the things that you didn’t do.  Hope this helps.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Overcommitting – Shelle’s Top Tips

Bookmark and Share

Today, our topic is overcommitting. What do you do once you have enthusiastically jumped in and said yes and then you realize you have no time?

The first things I’m going to look at are prevention strategies, and then some tips for how to cure it, how to get out of the commitment once you have made the commitment.

Prevention

Prevention is a question of calming down and breathing. Lots of people are going to come to you and say, “Hey, Shelle, we’ve got this great idea that we would like to get you involved in.” Instead of saying, “Really? Yes I’ll do it!” breathe. Ask questions:

“Tell me more.”

“What does it entail?”

Take some notes and make sure you thoroughly understand what the person is asking you to do.

Once you’ve had all your questions answered, I suggest you say,

“You know what? I’m going to check with my other commitments to see if I can fit that in. Let me get back to you,” and then let them know when you can get back to them.

Breathe, stay calm, ask questions, and promise that you will check it out with your other commitments. The other person will know that you are taking them seriously. You’re weighing whether or not you have time to do it properly and then promise to get back to them. This gives you the opportunity to see whether or not it will be an over commitment.

The Cure

You’ve said yes. What do you do? First, as soon as possible, you need to do something. Don’t wait. Don’t hide. Don’t chew your fingernails in anxiety. Do something as soon as possible, as soon as you realized you’ve overcommitted.

Secondly, what do you do? Apologize. Use the Bad News Formula. Check out my Shelle’s Top Tips on apologizing and the Bad News Formula for exact instructions on each of these.

Lastly, offer the other person something. You’ve let them down, maybe you can help them find a replacement for you or perhaps there is a part of the task that you can do that will help them out. Find something that you can do and remember to think about this before you speak to them. I suggest you do this on the phone or in person rather than by email. It will go over much better and keep your relationship in good form.

For more tips on how to get out of those sticky communication situations, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me. It’s also an e-book that you can download and it’s got lots of hints and tips for difficult communication situations.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Dealing with Temptation – Shelle’s Top Tips

Bookmark and Share

Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with temptation is to yield to it”, but I believe there’s another option. So here you are, it’s holiday time, the table is laden with all of your favorite foods, some of which you may have even cooked yourself, (talking about myself here again).

You really want to dive in and all you can see is that lovely delicious stuff and you can practically taste it on your tongue before you’ve eaten it. How are you not going to just yield to it as Oscar Wilde said?

When you’re in the store, or you are behind at work and you know you need to be saving money but you really want those things right in front of you. What do you do if you’re on line doing the same thing?

Click here to watch the videoclip

Here are a couple of tips.

First, breathe deeply. Breathe deeply a couple of times because you end up giving in to temptation when you act on it really quickly. If you stand back and give yourself a couple of moments to think, that can be the secret to your success.

Second, after you’ve breathed, go away from the temptation. I go into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. (that maybe too much information). But I remember while I’m sitting on the toilet what my real goal is here. Am I working towards becoming a better person? Am I trying to lose weight? Am I getting into shape? What do I really want? Get back in touch with what is really important.

If you haven’t ever talked to yourself about what’s really important, you might want to do that before you confront the holiday temptations.

The third suggestion for resisting temptation is to go have a glass of water and think about something else. The moment will pass and that’s really, really key.

Temptation only ever happens in the moment. So if you have a couple of tips for how to forget what’s going on in front of you and think about something else, timing off to reconnect with what’s important to you, that’s going to help you with all kinds of temptations whether it’s buying, eating, or anything else you can think of.

I hope these tips. Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips and enjoy the holidays.
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com. Please visit my speaking page too.

Get Someone to do What you Want – Shelle’s Top Tips


Bookmark and Share

A lot of people tell me that getting others to do what you want them to do can be very difficult at times.

So here’s three tips on how to get someone to do what you want.

1)     Find Out What’s Important to Them
Most of us know what’s important to us but we don’t take the time to find out what’s important to the other person. Ask a few questions first about what is important to them, or think about it from their perspective.

2)     Link What You Want to What’s Important to Them
Usually, we just talk about what we want and we don’t link it to anything that the other person might like. What is the link? How can you make a case?

3)     Speak in a Way that is Motivating for Them
For example, if that person is very goal-focused or goal-oriented then you need to tell them what the benefit is (Toward Language).

If they tend to be more problem-focused and the kind of person who notices what is wrong and easily criticizes, tell them what problem will be prevented or solved; what they can move away from.

You can guess if they are in a Toward mode and need a benefit or a goal, or if they are more Away From and prefer to  hear about consequences or negative consequences that they can avoid by doing the thing that you want.

Click here to learn more about influencing and persuasion.

Two more hints about speaking in a way that motivates the other person.
Do they want to have lots of choices and lots of options?  We call that Options Language. Or would they rather have a step-by-step procedure for doing something and talk about how to do something?  We call that Procedures Language.

Think about these 3 easy steps the next time you need to get someone to do what you want.

If you want more tips to solve problems (Away From Alert!) and get what you want (Toward Alert!), visit http://www.ShellesTopTips.com and check out my books and audio programs for yourself at http://www.theshellestore.com

Dealing with Upset Customers

Bookmark and Share

It’s really important to know how to calm down your customer quickly, get to the root of their problem, solve it, and nourish the relationship for next time.

If you’ve had a chance to look at my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, you’ll get this all laid out for you, but there’s four key steps.

1)     Treat the Emotion First
Most people cannot do these two things at the same time; they can’t be upset and be logical. If you’ve got a customer that’s upset and you try immediately to solve their problem, they probably won’t co-operate because they’re busy being upset and they need you to understand that. So treat the emotion first.

The key is to meet your customer where he or she is. My strategy may seem a little silly because most people are taught to stay calm. But if you think about it, when you are upset about something and the person you are speaking to stays calm, and doesn’t acknowledge either verbally or in their tone of voice that you are upset, it can feel like they are not really hearing you.

Instead, I suggest that when your customer becomes upset about something and they raise their tone that you raise your tone to almost the same level, but you say something helpful and we call that getting upset on behalf of your customer.

This is not the same as yelling at your customer. Step number one is to get upset on behalf of your customer, show them that you are surprised and upset with them. If you don’t sound like you’re surprised when they are upset, your customer may believe that this problem is normal, you don’t care, this happens all the time and your whole company doesn’t care about what happens. Remember, everything you do determines what your customer believes about your whole company. So for step one, treat the emotion first.

Click here to find out more about how to match your customer’s tone, and what kinds of things you can say that will be helpful.

2)    Clarify What the Customer Actually Wants and Take Action

Whether or not you agree that it’s a problem, if the customer thinks it is a problem, we need to sort out what it is they need.  You can suggest two options here that will solve their problem. In my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, there is more information on exactly the wording to use with upset customers.

It is important to make a suggestion at this point, as if you ask the customer “How would you like me to fix this?”, they may become angry again since they will be expecting you to be the expert and to know what to do to fix the issue. So step two, clarify what the customer wants and take action.

3)    Make Amends

Many people don’t think about this, but if your customer is upset, to him or her it is as if they have been hurt. So our third step is to make it up to them. It is not enough simply to say, “Well I’m sorry”. Remember when you were a child and your parents told you to say you’re sorry, your siblings knew you weren’t really sorry. Your upset customers know you are not really sorry either. So what can you do to make amends? Does your company have a policy so that the person actually dealing with the upset customers can make amends right on the stop without having to ask for permission?  So step three, make amends.

4)     Nourish the Relationship for the Future
Make sure that you communicate to your customer so that whenever they contact your company again for any reason, that you have set them up for a positive experience. You can do that by saying, “Listen, any one of my colleagues will help you find what you want and if there are ever any issues, we’ll do whatever it takes do to solve it.  We are your personal fix-it people”.  Make sure they can see a picture in their mind’s eye of how it will be next time, (such as “fix-it people”) That’s how to nourish the relationship for next time.

If you want more information on strategies for dealing with customers and creating a great customer experience, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, available as an EBook or available in paperback form.

Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you got any great ideas from Shelle’s Top Tips.

Shelle

Click here for more of my blog posts
http://www.theshelleblog.com

Click here for my articles
http://www.shellesarticles.com

Click here to see me in action
http://www.shelleinaction.com
Contact Us:
+1-905-639-6468
melody@wordsthatchangeminds.com

Bullying: Bystanders No More

Bookmark and Share

In Canada over the last few weeks, we have heard the tragic story of a teenager who committed suicide, after being sexually assaulted and then bullied online for over a year. This isn’t the only story about people suffering at the hands of others while bystanders do nothing, or worse encourage the bullying.

Bystanders are being blamed for not intervening and yet, hardly anywhere in all the literature does it tell bystanders exactly what to do. How many times has each one of us witnessed someone behaving inappropriately and not intervened?

And I just can’t stand it any more! I created this video because I believe there is one thing you can do to stop bullying right when it happens.

If you find the information useful, please share it on your Facebook page or wherever you think people need to see it.

Bookmark and Share

Cheers,

Shelle

+1-905-639-6468

http://www.labprofileonline.com
http://www.wordsthatchangeminds.com
http://www.theshelleblog.com
http://www.shellestoptips.com
http://www.shellesevents.com
http://www.shelleinaction.com
http://www.shellesarticles.com
http://www.theshellestore.com

 

Saying No To Your Kids

Bookmark and Share

I know a couple of people, me included, who have difficulty saying no to their children.   

A friend of mine has a daughter who has managed to find ways of getting money from her parents for years. She is in her early 20s now, and still the bank of Ma and Pa is open. Recently, I said no to one of my children who requested something. I then found myself running to my friends and family for support, so I thought maybe it’s time we really think about this. 

Click here to watch the video clip

If you feel that you’ve been the bank of Ma and Pa (that means your bank has been open for them to make withdrawals) one tip I have is to add up how much money you’ve spent on your kids over the last few years. I think you’ll be shocked and I think they’ll be shocked.  

Here’s another tip. When your kids ask you for something usually they just ask you or sometimes they do the big setup where you’re sort of slowly leading to the unending conclusion that you need to lend them some money or give them some money. That’s what happened to me recently.  My suggestion is don’t answer right away. Instead say, “That’s interesting. Tell me more.” And then when they ask you for the money or they ask you for whatever it is they’re going to ask you for, tell them you’ll think about it and get back to them.

I know lots of parents who have to deal with children who are not making their own way. They made terrible financial decisions and then the parents are there to rescue them. I think it’s important to decide when to rescue and when not to rescue, what behaviors are you going to reward and not going to reward. So zoom out. Look at the big picture. How many times has your child stood on their feet, provided for their own needs and made good decisions? And how many times have they not done that and how have you rewarded them? It’s important to figure that out.

So if you find that you’ve been rewarding irresponsible behavior, now is the time to stop. Sit down, plan with your child how they can actually move forward, and tell them what your role is going to be and tell them what you’re not going to do.

But most important of all, when you get hit up for money, just say, “Let me think about it,” and then go and talk to somebody who you know will help you be logical about this.

Our children can certainly pull at our heartstrings and sometimes saying no will really help them grow up.

Cheers,

Shelle

+1-905-639-6468

http://www.wordsthatchangeminds.com
http://www.theshelleblog.com
http://www.shellestoptips.com
http://www.shellesevents.com
http://www.shelleinaction.com
http://www.shellesarticles.com
http://www.theshellestore.com

 

Moments Matter

Bookmark and Share

In an instant, you can change your mind. You change the impression you had of someone, or you decide something is not a good idea after all. Politics is full of these moments.

General David Petraeus had to resign after being caught in an extra-marital affair. In a moment, questions arose about his military judgment. If he were so unwise as to have an affair, and leave an easily detected electronic trail, what other mistakes could he have made? In a moment, beliefs about his worthiness shifted.

Supporters of Barack Obama watched helplessly during the first debate of the 2012 election as he showed a decidedly un-presidential demeanor and lost credibility for the undecided voters. Romney also had his moment that evening, as he appeared “presidential” (whatever that means) for the first time during the campaign. In a moment, the performance of both changed the direction of movement of the campaign. Suddenly it appeared possible that Romney might actually win.

In France, in the first six months of François Hollande’s presidency saw his popularity dramatically drop to a 36% approval rating. As I watched his grueling official press conference at the end of the first six months, lasting over two and a half hours, François Hollande had his moment. “I can understand the doubts that have been expressed. The only valid question in my eyes is not the state of public opinion today but the state of France in five years’ time.” He successfully reframed the issues of the day: Today is not what counts. Popularity doesn’t matter — results over the long term are what matters.

Moments matter in communication.

Everything you say and do affects the emotional state of other people.

Everything you say and do determines what they believe about you and your whole organization.

The above examples illustrate these “Power Principles”.

But let’s think about everyday communication — what moments have you had that created a positive or negative impression? Was that your intention? How can you avoid the missteps that leave a trail of damaged or broken relationships?

How to Succeed Your Key Moments

Here are some tips on mastering the “moment”:

  1. Take a look at what you are doing. If your actions were known, how would they affect your credibility? Would people still trust you? Would they still respect you? Would they still like you?
  2. Assess risks: Sometimes you have to do or say things that risk upsetting others or making you unpopular. Ask yourself, who will benefit from this? How can I say or do this in a respectful way? I recently emailed some colleagues about what I felt was a lack of content in their presentation — I risked hurting their feelings, but I felt the opportunity to improve would be lost if I didn’t say what I felt. And I thought they could do a better job on their upcoming book if they got some input. I will see how they respond.
  3. Take feedback seriously. The worst mistakes are often made by people who believe they are better, more important or more knowledgeable than others. If we dismiss what others tell us, then we lose the opportunity to continuously improve. People who are highly Internal or Macho (Please see my article the Macho Test) often refuse to consider any opinion different from their own. I hate being criticized, but I know that once I lick my wounds and get over my hurt feelings, there is usually something really useful that I need to incorporate.
  4. Be what you aspire to be. Social scientist Amy Cuddy revealed the link between body language and your own beliefs about yourself. Want to be more confident? Sit or walk confidently for 2 minutes. That’s all it takes.
  5. Adopt helpful beliefs. I like to believe that even if they don’t look like it, most people want to have fun. Is it true? I don’t care.

 Moments matter. 

Just a reminder about our LAB Profile Consultant/Trainer Certification Program coming up August 12 – 23, 2013 in Belgium. We are offering a $600 discount for the first 11 registrants! Hope you will be there.

Cheers,

Shelle

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com. Please visit my speaking page too.

http://www.labprofilecertification.com
http://www.shellestoptips.com
http://www.shellerosecharvet.com
http://www.theshelleblog.com