Tag Archives: NLP

Meta Programs and the LAB Profile®: What’s the difference?

There are now over 550 LAB Profile(r) Consultant/Trainer Certification graduates from around the world.
“How strange,” I thought, given that NLP is used so much by trainers, facilitators, consultants and coaches, even if they don’t mention NLP.

Why haven’t more people been using the LAB Profile and contributing to the ever-increasing knowledge base, especially since the LAB Profile has become the accepted way of teaching Meta Programs in many countries?

So I asked some questions and here is an unscientific sample of what I heard on some NLPers’ beliefs about Meta Programs and the LAB Profile(r):

* Meta Programs are the same thing as the LAB Profile(r). * I already studied them and know what I need to know. * They are just filters and who needs more filters? * Nice to know but there are no practical uses for them.  What!? I was shocked!

And all these years I have been using the LAB Profile(r) along with my NLP skills to create a very lucrative practice helping organizations and people.

Since 1998 I have been certifying consultants, trainers, coaches and executives from around the world to use the  LAB Profile(r) (Language & Behaviour Profile) in business and other organizations. Highly-skilled people attend this program because they know it will dramatically increase their ability to help clients solve difficult problems as well as create a unique opportunity for their careers.

Learn more about the LAB Profile(r) »

Some Examples from my consulting business:  

  • Assisted a manufacturer to avoid a strike and get the first 5 year contract with their union in the history of the company;
  • Decoded specialized LAB Profile market research to develop successful advertising strategies;
  • Transformed entire call centre representative behaviour to stop the bleeding of customers from an insurance company;
  • Helped negotiators to increase revenue by millions of dollars by changing their behaviours with their customers.
  • Appeared on national television using the LAB Profile(r) to decode election strategies for the general public.In short, my NLP and LAB Profile skills have made my fee irrelevant in the market place. My customers are willing to pay whatever it costs to take advantage of the insights and skills afforded them by these skills. Perhaps the information has not been getting across to NLP-based trainers and consultants, so I would like to correct some misunderstandings.

What are the Differences between Meta Programs and the LAB Profile?

Meta Programs, originally developed by Leslie Cameron-Bandler (now Lebeau), describe what information a person takes in or gives out. Are they filtering for information, place, person, thing or activity? Do they notice sameness, similarities or contrasts? And many, many more filters.
When I learned these patterns in an NLP Master Practitioner program in Paris in the 1980’s, they are rarely connected to how to detect them and what to do once you know the patterns. I did learn however that some patterns were better than others; it was better to be internal than external, better to approach than avoid etc., a belief I have since rejected.

I was fascinated by the information at the time, but also thought there was nothing one could do with the information. In 1984 I translated Rodger Bailey’s LAB Profile(r) manual into French when I working in Paris.

I was immediately struck by the differences between his model and the standard NLP Meta Programs. I chose to use and develop the LAB Profile rather than any of the other psycho-metric profiling tools because of its simplicity, accuracy and usefulness. While the LAB Profile was based on the original Meta Programs and Noam Chomsky’s deletions, distortions and generalizations, only the LAB Profile consists of:

  1. A reasonable number of patterns to learn,
  2. A methodology for detecting the patterns, and
  3. A specific set of Influencing Language to match each pattern.

Meta Programs

Development

LAB Profile

Benefit

60 patterns

Summarizing, concentrating on essentials

14 practical Categories

Easy to learn and remember

No methodology

Structured approach

Questionnaire for

eliciting patterns

with clear indicators

Easy to use for research

with groups, & in casual conversations

No specific language

Research and

development of

language structures

Matches the Motivation Trigger and Influencing Language for each pattern

Dramatically increases ability to be persuasive  because it  fits language to internal mental structure

No practical

applications

On going research and development

Used for mass & interpersonal communication, self-knowledge, psycho-metric profiles

Incredible potential for creating new and rigourous applications

Rodger had also discovered some practical applications. This was something I could actually use. At the time we included the LAB Profile(r) in a program called “Managing High Performance Teams” and I began to explore what else could be done with it.

On top of this several people have used the LAB Profile(r) as a research topic for their Master’s or Ph.D. theses. Several psychological profiling tools have been developed using the LAB Profile(r) to use with individuals and teams.

(See Jay Arthur’s NLP Personal Profile, Patrick Merlevede’s IWAM, Arne Maus’ Identity-Compass and Jaap Hollander’s MPA Mind-Sonar)

All of this information on what uses trainers, consultants, facilitators and coaches are doing with the LAB Profile is irrelevant if people won’t give it a try for themselves. I wrote the book Words That Change Minds quite a few years ago to describe the Patterns and give information on how to use them for a few practical applications. But that was only the beginning.

Since then, we have discovered many more practical applications for consultants and trainers. Imagine being able to understand, and predict people’s behaviour using a rigourous, empirical and scientific method for motivation. The LAB Profile is an exciting alternative to standard problem-solving approaches which our customers have all heard before.

But don’t believe me. Check out my books Words That Change Minds and The Customer is Bothering Me at www.theShellestore.com

or have a look at the LAB Profile Consultant/Trainer Certification Program at www.LABProfileCertification.com

Please email me at shelle@successtrategies.com and visit my website for more information www.WordsThatChangeMinds.com

Here are some examples of the LAB Profile practical applications many of us have created over the years:

  • Marketing Research: Since these patterns vary by Context, several methodologies have been developed to empirically determine the different below-conscious motivations customers have for competing products and services. This is used to create whole mass communication strategies.

  • Coaching: I developed a methodology using the LAB Profile called Conversational Coaching, whereby the coach elicits conversationally the LAB Profile patterns of the present and desired state and casually overlaps the Influencing Language to enable the client to experience the desired state and develop his or her own solutions.

  • Training for Behaviour Change: Using the LAB Profile you can choose activities which will create the desired behaviour changes for any target group, first by decoding the Motivation Patterns for the group and then understanding which LAB Profile patterns are addressed by any given activity.

  • People Management: You can train managers to identify the LAB Profile Patterns and thereby the strengths of their team members, so they can adjust assignments to suit what staff members naturally do best at work.

  • Recruitment: You can do a LAB Profile for a position and corporate culture to create an advertisement that will be irresistible to those who fit and turn off those who do not fit. You can the screen the selected short-listed candidates to find the best match. (Note: The LAB Profile does not measure skills, knowledge or attitude; rather it measures whether the person has the Motivation Traits and Internal Processing to fit the tasks and the environment; in other words “fit”.)

  • Skills Training: Learning the LAB Profile will enable people to develop finely-tuned abilities in the following areas: Influencing & Persuading, Negotiating, Leadership, Conflict Resolution, Sales and Customer Service.

  • Consulting and Problem-Solving: I developed an easy to use LAB Profile methodology to diagnose and develop solutions to any communication problem. This is a favourite amongst business leaders and consultants.

  • Implementing Organizational Change: You can diagnose the present and desired organizational cultures in LAB Profile terms and determine the appropriate change methodology for maximum sustainable results.

  • Team Building: When you do a team LAB Profile, you can determine the team’s strengths and weaknesses with regards to their mandate. You can also identify communication patterns within the team and between this team and others, as well as determine the patterns of the next person to add to the team.

  • Teaching and Learning: Teachers and students can easily identify the LAB Profile Patterns which facilitate or cause difficulties in learning for individuals and whole groups. Minor adjustments can then be made to the teaching/learning methodology to correct any problems. I gave a workshop to the National Indian Education Conference in Canada (for teachers on Native Indian Reservations) on how to prevent drop-outs using this methodology.

  • Modelling: The LAB Profile Patterns can be used to decode any strategy or any skill, simply by identifying the behaviours (internal and external) used. This is an essential part of the modeling demonstrate this methodology to help students with their modeling project.

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com.

NLP fans – we need your help!

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If you know NLP, then you know that it has been a struggle to gain credibility and prove it’s effectiveness. The NLP Research and Recognition Project needs your help. Please see below. I hope you can help by writing a letter and giving $5.00 a month (or more if you can afford it).

Please forward this message to all the NLPers you know.

Cheers!
Shelle

Dear Leaders and Fans of NLP,

We at the NLP Research and Recognition Project (NLP R & R) are poised to receive major funding to continue our work, but need to demonstrate the support of the NLP community to increase our likelihood of success.

We need your support right now to help make sure that NLP is finally legitimized everywhere.

Here’s what you can do (before May 30, 2014):

1) Write a letter of support about NLP R & R to (info@researchandrecognition.org) that we can use in our bid to get funding for continuing our research. Please ask the other NLP Institutes that you know to do the same.  (Here is a sample letter.)

2) Please ask all your NLP contacts to go online to www.researchandrecognition.org and donate $5.00 a month for the next year to support the research and to make themselves a formal supporter of the research project. (We are regularly being asked by Foundations that we are soliciting for funds how much the NLP community is supporting our efforts).

3)Please ask everyone to link to and go often to the new NLP WIKI site and for those so inclined, send possible additions and corrections to the WIKI.

Please do this by May 30th if you can, but do it whenever you can.

Thanks so much for all your help in this!

Best regards to our friends and colleagues,

Dr. Frank Bourke, Dr. Rick Gray, Lisa Wake and the whole team at R & R. including Trustees Judith DeLozier, Steve and Connirae Andreas and supporters Tim Hallbom, Shelle Rose Charvet, Michael Hall and Robert Dilts.

Here, is more background information on the NLP R & R Organization to keep you up to date.

Frank Bourke & Richard Gray

Telephone: 607 622 8054

Email:Receptionist@randrproject.com

Website: www.researchandrecognition.org

Top Sales Questions – Shelle’s Top Tips – Shelle Rose Charvet

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If you’re a salesperson, there are five questions that will let you know exactly what your customer wants, what they don’t want, and how to propose and position what it is you have to offer.

If you’re not a salesperson these questions will be useful every time you really need to understand what’s important to someone.

So here they are.

Questions #1 & 2 – What Do You Want? and What’s Important To You?

Many salespeople just forget to ask these questions.  A while ago, I went to buy a new luxury car. I decided to abandon my old mommy-mobile and get a new car for me. My kids were grown up.  It’s my turn for a beautiful luxury car.  We went to seven dealerships.

Out of those seven dealerships only one salesperson said, “Shelle, what do you want? What’s important to you about this car?” How are you going to position anything to me or show me a car, for example, if you don’t know that one of the things that’s important to me is that when I drive my new luxury car up to my prospective client’s place of business that they’d be impressed by my new car.

Now, I know that sounds superficial but that’s one of the things that was important to me.

I felt a little bit sorry for one of the younger salespersons and I said to him, “You didn’t ask me what was important to me.” Okay, he got a little defensive. I would have gotten defensive too. He said, “Well, I tried to find it out in the conversation. I think I did okay.” I said, “Oh, really? So what do I want? What’s important to me?” and he didn’t know.

Now, all of those salespeople asked me, “What car are you presently driving?” I said, “I don’t want to talk about it.” So it’s hidden in the back somewhere.

Write down what they say because the words the customer uses are the words that have a resonance for them.

If you want more information on Top Sales Questions and how to use them, check out my
Sales Booster Package – Increase Sales, Marketing & Customer Retention »

Question #3: Why Is That Important?

 Here what we’re trying to find out is one of the important motivations for you. Is the person trying to achieve or gain something from that or are they trying to prevent or solve a problem?

So if you say, “Shelle, why is it important for you to impress your customers?” I might say, “Because I want to feel successful” or “Because I want to look successful.” Those are things I want to gain. The Toward trigger.

Or I might say, “Well, I don’t want to look like I’m not successful,” and that would be moving Away From, and you may have heard me say this before, the trigger that’s moving away from what I don’t want.

This gives you an indication of how to speak to your customer. Either you show them what they’ll gain, this will enable you to look more successful with your customers, or what they’re trying to avoid. This way you won’t look like you’re unsuccessful with your customers.

Question #4 – How Will You Know if You’ve Made The Right Decision?

 “Excellent question,” you say.  With this question you’re trying to find out does the person decide for themselves, by their own criteria and their own judgments and we call that Internal or did they decide based on outside criteria or outside influences?  

“So Shelle, how will you know you’ve made the right decision about your car?” Shelle might say, “When it feels good. When I’m behind the wheel and I love it.” Well, that’s clearly Internal. So although I did seem to have some external influences, I know I’ve made the right decision myself.

Now, I could have answered the question, “Shelle, how will you know if you’ve made the right decision?” by saying, “When all those people I’m driving by smile at me and look like they’re impressed.” That’s more External.

So this gives you more information about what’s going to help that person decide or buy.

Question #5 – Why Did You Choose To Look For A Car Now?

The question, “Why did you choose..?” is going to give you two kinds of answers.

If the person gives you a list of reasons: an old car was rotten; I want a new car; I want something that fits me; as a salesperson you need to talk to them about all of the options that the car you are selling comes with.

If they don’t tell you why but instead they tell you the story of how it happened that they ended up needing a car, so for example, they’ll say, “Well, my old car broke down for the last time and it was going to cost a lot of money to fix it. So then I realized it probably wasn’t worth my while to fix it so I ended up having to look for a new car.” If they give you one of these stories that has all these events in it, they’re not so interested in all of the options with the car. They want to know how does it work and what do you have to do to buy it, what are the steps in the buying process.

So those are the top sales questions. What do you want? What’s important to you? Why is that important? How you know you made the right decision? And why did you choose to look for or to search for this thing now?

If you want more information on Top Sales Questions and how to use them, check out my
Sales Booster Package – Increase Sales, Marketing & Customer Retention »

For more “Shelle’s Top Tips” visit
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com »

I’d love to hear your feedback.  How was this article useful to you?  You can leave a comment below or message me directly at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com

Hope to hear from you.

Cheers,
Shelle

Great new NLP resources for Trainers. Reduce your preparation time!

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I have a resource for you that I highly recommend.

 

This information is for people who are corporate trainers or NLP trainers.

Would you like some new group exercises

or additions to the ones you’ve already got?

 

As you know, it can take hours and hours to find (or create)

the right exercises to fit your group and your program,

but it doesn’t have to any more!   

 

If you have some familiarity with NLP, here are

practical step-by-step exercises with instructions (with all the handouts etc.).

No more having to wade through loads of theory

to find the right activities.  

  

My friend, the talented NLP Trainer Andy Smith, has designed

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises specifically to

save you days or weeks of preparation time.

 

And for a limited time you get it for 25% off; an exclusive discount

just for my subscribers! (I asked him and he said yes!)

 

This special price is good until February 21st! Don’t miss out.

Want to see if you like it?  

Click here to download 3 group activities for free:

 

Want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off.

You may already know Andy’s work. He is the acclaimed author of

Practical NLP: How to use NLP principles

to improve your life and work, even if you’re not NLP trained.

 

Andy says:

“My aim in writing this exercise pack was to make it the best resource out there for trainers. Pretty much everything I have learned in years of running NLP courses is in there. It’s the resource that I wish had been available when I was a newly-qualified NLP trainer years ago!”

 

I’m not the only one who really appreciates Andy’s work:

 

“At last! – an outstanding, comprehensive and tremendously practical collection of dynamic NLP exercises skilfully brought together that you can adapt to use in trainings, coaching, therapy or NLP practise groups. 

Andy has generously included an invaluable in-depth introduction that includes design of content delivery, how to frame exercises, choosing and briefing assistants and terms and conditions for your course.

He efficiently sets out each exercise with the timing, objective, procedure, what to expect, points to look out for, check and clarify and even FAQs where appropriate, thus ensuring you feel briefed, prepared and confident in your usage.

Andy has produced a resource of fantastic value, that no NLP professional (beginner or experienced) can afford to be without, which includes not only exercises but handouts and wall charts too!”

Balbir Chagger, NLP Trainer, Coach and Speaker 

www.balbirchagger.com 

 

“I’m pleased to wholeheartedly recommend this book to NLP Trainers, NLP Master Practitioners, AND well-trained NLP Practitioners alike. As one of the trainers Andy graciously referenced in this book as one of his sources for some of the exercises quoted in the book, I was profoundly impressed with this collection of valuable resources, organized beautifully and usefully. The book is written at a high enough level that even newly certified trainers will be able to make immediate use of the exercises for the groups they work with.

My opinion: New NLP Students ought to know that exercises from a book like this alone will never lead to becoming a great practitioner, so I don’t think this book is a good substitute for live training. Without the kind of knowledgeable mentorship that expands a students’ resources in optimal ways, exercises by themselves are aimless (and many are described at trainer level, with practitioner-candidate-level relevant knowledge omitted). But once you’ve become a Practitioner with 10 days or more of training behind you, get a copy of this book, and you’ll be able to continue developing your NLP skills powerfully!

This book is a phenomenal resource for skilled trainers who know what signs and patterns to look for in audiences, student behavior, awareness, filters, beliefs, limiting beliefs, learning patterns and strategies, and more. I’m confident it will expand any trainer’s repertoire of learning experiences. Every trainer should acquire a copy!

Jonathan Altfeld (Mastery InSight Institute of NLP)

www.altfeld.com

  

“Absolutely fabulous, packed full of enough detail to run the exercises with little preparation. Thanks for a great product.”

– Jenni Miller

 

“This is a must have if you are running NLP courses – and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing it. Andy has long had a reputation for providing top notch training, and this book is a wonderful and generous extension of his standards. It’s not only a resource, it’s a companion, packed as it is with his advice and commentary. This must have been a huge undertaking, and many will thank him for it for many years to come. I’m definitely one of them.”

 

Trevor Silvester, NLP and Hypnosis trainer

Author of ‘Wordweaving’ and ‘Lovebirds’ 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is so what I was looking for as I am teaching my first NLP Practitioner Course next month.  

I asked for it and there it was so much appreciated. 

Also love the way you present it.” 

Regards Maz, NSW Australia

 

Maz Schirmer, NLP Trainer

 

“Andy’s excellent ‘The Trainers Book of NLP Exercises’ is a very rich gold mine of exercises for both the NLP Trainer as well as NLP Practitioners and those of us who run NLP practice groups. The wealth of experiential exercises and structured, yet ‘pick and mix’ learning format is a absolute must have. Buy yourself a copy right now, you will be very very pleased!”

Nigel Hetherington – Master Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Trainer

 

“A fantastic book full of doable exercises. I can’t wait to start using them. The world of NLP owes Andy a huge gift of gratitude.”

– Peter Hirst

 

“Bought and used. Saved massive amounts of time and got a better result than I could have done under my own steam. Excellent product.”

Rintu Basu, NLP Trainer and author of ‘The Persuasion Skills Blackbook: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want

 

Here’s Andy’s description:

What’s in the Trainer’s Pack:

 

A printable e-book – 411 pages, 128 exercises,

plus handouts and wall charts.


PLUS

Word versions of the handouts and wall charts so

you can tailor or rebrand them for your courses!

  This resource kit could save you days or weeks of preparation!     

 

Exercise instructions with:

  • Objectives
  • Timings
  • Procedure
  • Suggested clear-up questions
  • Handout pages (where needed) that you can copy or modify
  • Wallcharts (where needed) that you can copy or modify

Clear exercise formats for:

  • developing NLP skills such as rapport and sensory acuity,
  • practising techniques such as anchoring and sub-modality shifts
  • learning language patterns and hypnotic skills
  • formats for problem solving and exploration, such as the “Disney Strategy”, “Neuro-Logical Levels” and the S.C.O.R.E. model
  • clarifying values and setting goals
  • sharpening questioning skills
  • strategy elicitation and modelling
  • increasing emotional awareness and social intelligence

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises also includes a

Microsoft Word document version of the handouts

so you can modify them, and searchable keywords so

you can quickly find activities for workshops on any topic

such as listening skills, self-esteem or assertiveness.

 

I suggest you check it out to see if this resource is right for you.

Click here for more information. 

 

Andy tells me that the exclusive 25% discount, with the   

Coupon Code:  shelle 

applies to any product in the ‘Tools For Trainers’

section of his store.  But only until Feb. 21st!

  

You can download three activities

from the Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises for free.

Check them out for yourself: Click here 

Or want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off. Until Feb 21st.

 

If you are a trainer, I really think you will appreciate

the quality of Andy’s work.

 

Cheers,

Shelle

PS: I am recommending it because I think it is a great resource for trainers.

 

Achieve Goals Using Your Own Success Strategies – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Let’s talk about ourselves for just a minute. A lot of people tell me they have tons of stuff that they want to do but they’re not able to get as much done as they would like and I’m not talking about time management issues. It’s about your strategy for achieving and your strategy to avoid dropping things that you really want to do.   Here’s a few tips.

  1. Your Success and Failure Strategies
    Write, jot down a quick list of the things that you’ve actually achieved over the last few months and the things you started to do or wanted to do but didn’t get done.  At a big picture level, can you see any success strategies from the things that you wrote down or any failure strategies that stop you from achieving that?
  1. Level of Importance
    If you have a look at your two lists and you’re able to identify what’s important and what isn’t important to you, do you see any patterns? Are your success strategies the ones you succeeded at more important to you and the other one is less important to you?

  2. Negative Consequences
    Here’s something that I found in my studying of what makes people successful in their goals and how do they avoid falling off the wagon. Well often people who are focused have deadlines and there are negative consequences for not achieving what you wanted to do at the time that you wanted to do it.  So have a check for the things that you succeeded at. Was there a negative consequence or something that you didn’t want to have happen? 

    I remember when I was writing the first draft of my very first book. I gave myself until September to finish the first draft.  The beginning of September arrived and guess what? I had a whole pile of courses and training and consulting lined up. The negative consequence would have been I wouldn’t have been able to get back at that book for months and that was something I really wanted to avoid.  So if you’ve got a negative consequence that you really want to avoid, that’s going to help you be more focused to be more motivated.

So my question to you is do you have lots of things that you’d like to be more successful at doing? Would you like to avoid having to put them off or just live with the fact that you didn’t do them?

Check out my mini E-Book. It’s called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving.

If you go to http://www.WishingWantingAchieving.com you will get this very short E-Book that will tell you how to model your own success in more detail so that you can find out exactly all your own success strategies. It also comes with a free MP3 download that you can listen to that’s going to help you focus and achieve more success and avoid having to live with the things that you didn’t do.  Hope this helps.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Overcommitting – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Today, our topic is overcommitting. What do you do once you have enthusiastically jumped in and said yes and then you realize you have no time?

The first things I’m going to look at are prevention strategies, and then some tips for how to cure it, how to get out of the commitment once you have made the commitment.

Prevention

Prevention is a question of calming down and breathing. Lots of people are going to come to you and say, “Hey, Shelle, we’ve got this great idea that we would like to get you involved in.” Instead of saying, “Really? Yes I’ll do it!” breathe. Ask questions:

“Tell me more.”

“What does it entail?”

Take some notes and make sure you thoroughly understand what the person is asking you to do.

Once you’ve had all your questions answered, I suggest you say,

“You know what? I’m going to check with my other commitments to see if I can fit that in. Let me get back to you,” and then let them know when you can get back to them.

Breathe, stay calm, ask questions, and promise that you will check it out with your other commitments. The other person will know that you are taking them seriously. You’re weighing whether or not you have time to do it properly and then promise to get back to them. This gives you the opportunity to see whether or not it will be an over commitment.

The Cure

You’ve said yes. What do you do? First, as soon as possible, you need to do something. Don’t wait. Don’t hide. Don’t chew your fingernails in anxiety. Do something as soon as possible, as soon as you realized you’ve overcommitted.

Secondly, what do you do? Apologize. Use the Bad News Formula. Check out my Shelle’s Top Tips on apologizing and the Bad News Formula for exact instructions on each of these.

Lastly, offer the other person something. You’ve let them down, maybe you can help them find a replacement for you or perhaps there is a part of the task that you can do that will help them out. Find something that you can do and remember to think about this before you speak to them. I suggest you do this on the phone or in person rather than by email. It will go over much better and keep your relationship in good form.

For more tips on how to get out of those sticky communication situations, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me. It’s also an e-book that you can download and it’s got lots of hints and tips for difficult communication situations.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Dealing with Temptation – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with temptation is to yield to it”, but I believe there’s another option. So here you are, it’s holiday time, the table is laden with all of your favorite foods, some of which you may have even cooked yourself, (talking about myself here again).

You really want to dive in and all you can see is that lovely delicious stuff and you can practically taste it on your tongue before you’ve eaten it. How are you not going to just yield to it as Oscar Wilde said?

When you’re in the store, or you are behind at work and you know you need to be saving money but you really want those things right in front of you. What do you do if you’re on line doing the same thing?

Click here to watch the videoclip

Here are a couple of tips.

First, breathe deeply. Breathe deeply a couple of times because you end up giving in to temptation when you act on it really quickly. If you stand back and give yourself a couple of moments to think, that can be the secret to your success.

Second, after you’ve breathed, go away from the temptation. I go into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. (that maybe too much information). But I remember while I’m sitting on the toilet what my real goal is here. Am I working towards becoming a better person? Am I trying to lose weight? Am I getting into shape? What do I really want? Get back in touch with what is really important.

If you haven’t ever talked to yourself about what’s really important, you might want to do that before you confront the holiday temptations.

The third suggestion for resisting temptation is to go have a glass of water and think about something else. The moment will pass and that’s really, really key.

Temptation only ever happens in the moment. So if you have a couple of tips for how to forget what’s going on in front of you and think about something else, timing off to reconnect with what’s important to you, that’s going to help you with all kinds of temptations whether it’s buying, eating, or anything else you can think of.

I hope these tips. Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips and enjoy the holidays.
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com. Please visit my speaking page too.

Get Someone to do What you Want – Shelle’s Top Tips


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A lot of people tell me that getting others to do what you want them to do can be very difficult at times.

So here’s three tips on how to get someone to do what you want.

1)     Find Out What’s Important to Them
Most of us know what’s important to us but we don’t take the time to find out what’s important to the other person. Ask a few questions first about what is important to them, or think about it from their perspective.

2)     Link What You Want to What’s Important to Them
Usually, we just talk about what we want and we don’t link it to anything that the other person might like. What is the link? How can you make a case?

3)     Speak in a Way that is Motivating for Them
For example, if that person is very goal-focused or goal-oriented then you need to tell them what the benefit is (Toward Language).

If they tend to be more problem-focused and the kind of person who notices what is wrong and easily criticizes, tell them what problem will be prevented or solved; what they can move away from.

You can guess if they are in a Toward mode and need a benefit or a goal, or if they are more Away From and prefer to  hear about consequences or negative consequences that they can avoid by doing the thing that you want.

Click here to learn more about influencing and persuasion.

Two more hints about speaking in a way that motivates the other person.
Do they want to have lots of choices and lots of options?  We call that Options Language. Or would they rather have a step-by-step procedure for doing something and talk about how to do something?  We call that Procedures Language.

Think about these 3 easy steps the next time you need to get someone to do what you want.

If you want more tips to solve problems (Away From Alert!) and get what you want (Toward Alert!), visit http://www.ShellesTopTips.com and check out my books and audio programs for yourself at http://www.theshellestore.com

Two Dates and a Couple of Books | NLP


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NLP fans: If you are near London, UK, November 15 to 17, please come and see me at
the NLP Conference. I will be doing 2 experimental demonstrations with Penny Tompkins and James Lawley, the creators of Clean Language, and we don’t know what will happen.  Click here to find out more.In addition Michael Neill is doing a full-day pre-conference workshop and there are so many great sessions by excellent presenters. Hope to see you at the NLP Conference!

Speaker, Trainers, Facilitators & Coaches: The Global Speaking Summit is in Vancouver December  8 to 10, 2013. If you want to take your business global, this is the place to be. Click here for all the information. I’ll be there with bells on! Please come!

And I would like to recommend 2 new books:

The Exceptional Speaker by Alan Stevens and Paul du Toit.

My 2 friends from the Global Speakers Federation cover how to create engaging content, stagecraft, how to work without notes, overcoming nerves and when and how to use props and slides. Check it out here.

Klout Matters by my buddies Terry Brock and Gina Carr. Find out how to measure and enhance your influence in today’s marketplace: the digital world. Excellent reading and very practical. Click here to get a couple of free chapters.

Let me know if you would like me to continue to recommend events and other resources now and then. Shelle@successtrategies.com

I’m feeling bookish, since Canadian short-story author Alice Munro just won the Nobel Prize for literature! She’s a wonderful story teller.

Cheers!

Shelle

p.s.Get your LAB Profile® Practitioner certification from the comfort of your home.
http://www.labprofileonline.com  

LAB Profile® Consultant/Trainer Certification program.Totally NEW Early Reg Package!  Outstanding Savings! Only until Oct 31, 2013
http://www.labprofilecertification.com

Need help with a communication problem at home or at work.
http://www.communicationchallenges.com

Dealing with Upset Customers

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It’s really important to know how to calm down your customer quickly, get to the root of their problem, solve it, and nourish the relationship for next time.

If you’ve had a chance to look at my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, you’ll get this all laid out for you, but there’s four key steps.

1)     Treat the Emotion First
Most people cannot do these two things at the same time; they can’t be upset and be logical. If you’ve got a customer that’s upset and you try immediately to solve their problem, they probably won’t co-operate because they’re busy being upset and they need you to understand that. So treat the emotion first.

The key is to meet your customer where he or she is. My strategy may seem a little silly because most people are taught to stay calm. But if you think about it, when you are upset about something and the person you are speaking to stays calm, and doesn’t acknowledge either verbally or in their tone of voice that you are upset, it can feel like they are not really hearing you.

Instead, I suggest that when your customer becomes upset about something and they raise their tone that you raise your tone to almost the same level, but you say something helpful and we call that getting upset on behalf of your customer.

This is not the same as yelling at your customer. Step number one is to get upset on behalf of your customer, show them that you are surprised and upset with them. If you don’t sound like you’re surprised when they are upset, your customer may believe that this problem is normal, you don’t care, this happens all the time and your whole company doesn’t care about what happens. Remember, everything you do determines what your customer believes about your whole company. So for step one, treat the emotion first.

Click here to find out more about how to match your customer’s tone, and what kinds of things you can say that will be helpful.

2)    Clarify What the Customer Actually Wants and Take Action

Whether or not you agree that it’s a problem, if the customer thinks it is a problem, we need to sort out what it is they need.  You can suggest two options here that will solve their problem. In my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, there is more information on exactly the wording to use with upset customers.

It is important to make a suggestion at this point, as if you ask the customer “How would you like me to fix this?”, they may become angry again since they will be expecting you to be the expert and to know what to do to fix the issue. So step two, clarify what the customer wants and take action.

3)    Make Amends

Many people don’t think about this, but if your customer is upset, to him or her it is as if they have been hurt. So our third step is to make it up to them. It is not enough simply to say, “Well I’m sorry”. Remember when you were a child and your parents told you to say you’re sorry, your siblings knew you weren’t really sorry. Your upset customers know you are not really sorry either. So what can you do to make amends? Does your company have a policy so that the person actually dealing with the upset customers can make amends right on the stop without having to ask for permission?  So step three, make amends.

4)     Nourish the Relationship for the Future
Make sure that you communicate to your customer so that whenever they contact your company again for any reason, that you have set them up for a positive experience. You can do that by saying, “Listen, any one of my colleagues will help you find what you want and if there are ever any issues, we’ll do whatever it takes do to solve it.  We are your personal fix-it people”.  Make sure they can see a picture in their mind’s eye of how it will be next time, (such as “fix-it people”) That’s how to nourish the relationship for next time.

If you want more information on strategies for dealing with customers and creating a great customer experience, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, available as an EBook or available in paperback form.

Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you got any great ideas from Shelle’s Top Tips.

Shelle

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http://www.theshelleblog.com

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http://www.shellesarticles.com

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http://www.shelleinaction.com
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