Tag Archives: increase sales

Dealing with Upset Customers

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It’s really important to know how to calm down your customer quickly, get to the root of their problem, solve it, and nourish the relationship for next time.

If you’ve had a chance to look at my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, you’ll get this all laid out for you, but there’s four key steps.

1)     Treat the Emotion First
Most people cannot do these two things at the same time; they can’t be upset and be logical. If you’ve got a customer that’s upset and you try immediately to solve their problem, they probably won’t co-operate because they’re busy being upset and they need you to understand that. So treat the emotion first.

The key is to meet your customer where he or she is. My strategy may seem a little silly because most people are taught to stay calm. But if you think about it, when you are upset about something and the person you are speaking to stays calm, and doesn’t acknowledge either verbally or in their tone of voice that you are upset, it can feel like they are not really hearing you.

Instead, I suggest that when your customer becomes upset about something and they raise their tone that you raise your tone to almost the same level, but you say something helpful and we call that getting upset on behalf of your customer.

This is not the same as yelling at your customer. Step number one is to get upset on behalf of your customer, show them that you are surprised and upset with them. If you don’t sound like you’re surprised when they are upset, your customer may believe that this problem is normal, you don’t care, this happens all the time and your whole company doesn’t care about what happens. Remember, everything you do determines what your customer believes about your whole company. So for step one, treat the emotion first.

Click here to find out more about how to match your customer’s tone, and what kinds of things you can say that will be helpful.

2)    Clarify What the Customer Actually Wants and Take Action

Whether or not you agree that it’s a problem, if the customer thinks it is a problem, we need to sort out what it is they need.  You can suggest two options here that will solve their problem. In my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, there is more information on exactly the wording to use with upset customers.

It is important to make a suggestion at this point, as if you ask the customer “How would you like me to fix this?”, they may become angry again since they will be expecting you to be the expert and to know what to do to fix the issue. So step two, clarify what the customer wants and take action.

3)    Make Amends

Many people don’t think about this, but if your customer is upset, to him or her it is as if they have been hurt. So our third step is to make it up to them. It is not enough simply to say, “Well I’m sorry”. Remember when you were a child and your parents told you to say you’re sorry, your siblings knew you weren’t really sorry. Your upset customers know you are not really sorry either. So what can you do to make amends? Does your company have a policy so that the person actually dealing with the upset customers can make amends right on the stop without having to ask for permission?  So step three, make amends.

4)     Nourish the Relationship for the Future
Make sure that you communicate to your customer so that whenever they contact your company again for any reason, that you have set them up for a positive experience. You can do that by saying, “Listen, any one of my colleagues will help you find what you want and if there are ever any issues, we’ll do whatever it takes do to solve it.  We are your personal fix-it people”.  Make sure they can see a picture in their mind’s eye of how it will be next time, (such as “fix-it people”) That’s how to nourish the relationship for next time.

If you want more information on strategies for dealing with customers and creating a great customer experience, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, available as an EBook or available in paperback form.

Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you got any great ideas from Shelle’s Top Tips.


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Shelle’s new LAB Profile Technology & innovation competition for Libretta

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As you may know, in 2010 with my partner Micha, we created a techie company called Weongozi. Our first product was HusbandMotivator(tm), the LAB Profile® iPhone app.

We have spent the last year developing an advanced communication email tool using the LAB Profile®, in partnership with the German Institute for Artificial Intelligence.  

Our new email tool is called Libretta(tm). It uses Artificial Intelligence to identify what is motivating people by analysing what they write and it gives guidance on the language to use in response. While you probably don’t need it for everyday emails, people are using Libretta to read the mind of their customers, colleagues or anyone else for high-stakes correspondence.  

It’s now available without cost as we are beta testing it. If you have Outlook 2007 or 2010 for Windows, I would love you to try Libretta and let me know what you think. You can download it at www.libretta.com 

Innovation Competition – top ten finalist!

We entered our new email tool Libretta(tm) into a local innovation competition called Lion’s Lair and have made it to the top ten finalists, competing for a prize worth $100,000. Next week I go before the Lions and will be filmed making our pitch and being interrogated by the Lions. This innovation startup is a whole new world for me and it is all very exciting. I am deep in preparation and practice mode! 

You can see my quick pitch at www.pitch-it.ca as well as the other finalists. Check it out and please give me your feedback.

The local CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation) produced a profile on me and our company with a short video that you might like. In it Libretta(tm) reveals what was so inspirational from Jack Layton’s last letter to Canadians. (He was a much loved Canadian politician who died in 2011.) 

Then the national CBC picked up the story! You can see the profile and video at: 


Isn’t this cool?  



How to be Credible – Shelle’s Top Tips

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I created this blog while in San Francisco at the Institute for Advanced Studies in Health Annual Conference. That’s the conference for NLP and Health. It’s been fantastic. 

Here is something that I do not recommend  if you want people to believe what you have to say: being too enthusiastic. When you are too enthusiastic, some people will believe that you are telling them what to think. 

“You’ve got to see this movie, you’ll love it!” That sounds like you are deciding for someone whether or not they will love it. If you want to become more credible, tone down the enthusiasm a little bit.


Look and sound confident, as if you believe what you’re saying, but use the “Language of Suggestion”. You could say something such as, “What do you think?” or “In my opinion” or “In my experience.”

 “In my experience” is a great phrase for establishing credibility. Try “In my experience, I find… What do you think?”

If a person uses too many statements of fact, the listener may feel like they are being talked at or told what to do.  That is another hint – I suggest avoiding “should”, “you must” and “here’s what you’ve got to do.” Instead, you may wish to say “It seems to me that…”

If you make a suggestion and invite the other person to think about it. Those are great ways for establishing credibility.

Here is one more way to help you to establish credibility.  Douglas Adams, the wonderful author of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, in the last book that was removed from his hard drive after his death, said that one can establish credibility by saying, “It turns out.” “Establishing credibility seems to be hard, but it turns out that if you know what you’re doing, it’s pretty easy.”

Those three little words seem to give some kind of credence to your ideas.

Again, the tips on how to be credible: 

  • tone down the enthusiasm,
  • look and sound confident but use the Language of Suggestion
  • invite people to decide for themselves,
  • use phrases such as this “it turns out, in my experience.”

If you want a tried and true process for increasing your credibility, check out my MP3 “Presenting Ideas to Skeptical People”. It’s only $9.97 and could give you the edge next time you need to be convincing. Click here.

Check out  www.ShellesTopTips.com if you would like some tips on communicating and solving some of the problems.

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at [email protected].  Please visit my speaking page too.

Sales in the New Reality – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Things are not the way they were before. Since 2008 with the financial crash that went around the world, we’ve had disaster after disaster; and nothing will ever Continue reading

Skeptical People – Shelle’s Top Tips


Many people ask me “What do you do when you’ve got an audience of people that really don’t want to be there?” Or an audience what I call “conscientious objectors”. Now, I don’t mean the anti-war activists and the pro-peace people. I mean the people that Continue reading

Are you Macho? Of course not, but are you sure?

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Are you Macho? Think about it. Do you find yourself resisting other people’s ideas because you already know all about it? Be honest. I am one of the most Macho people I know. Why just yesterday, someone I respect was giving me good advice about a project I was working on and there I was….. going on as if I knew it all already.

So I’m asking you ….. Continue reading

Influencing & Persuasion – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Many people have difficulty with influencing and persuasion because unconsciously, we tend to use the same strategies on other people that we would like to have other people use on us, and it’s all out of our awareness. Let’s bring a couple of things into your awareness by looking at the Language and Behavior Profile™, which is a tool that I’ve built my best-selling book on; “Words That Change Minds”, and my new book, “The Customer is Bothering Me”. Here are some of the key things you need to do to

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Ending a Sales Presentation – Shelle’s Top Tips

You’ve just done a marvelous presentation about your products or your services; you’ve gotten a raving applause and then Continue reading

Retail IS Different

I was just speaking to someone today who wants to sell over a million dollars in the next year of a well-known brand of furniture. She knows it can be done – a sales person in my area has done  it. She knows retail is different than selling services and products in other environments. She is right!

Don’t you hate it when you go into a store and the sales people start heading your way. How often have you had the very short “Can I help you?” “No, I’m just looking,” conversation? Continue reading