Tag Archives: blog

Achieve Goals Using Your Own Success Strategies – Shelle’s Top Tips

Bookmark and Share

Let’s talk about ourselves for just a minute. A lot of people tell me they have tons of stuff that they want to do but they’re not able to get as much done as they would like and I’m not talking about time management issues. It’s about your strategy for achieving and your strategy to avoid dropping things that you really want to do.   Here’s a few tips.

  1. Your Success and Failure Strategies
    Write, jot down a quick list of the things that you’ve actually achieved over the last few months and the things you started to do or wanted to do but didn’t get done.  At a big picture level, can you see any success strategies from the things that you wrote down or any failure strategies that stop you from achieving that?
  1. Level of Importance
    If you have a look at your two lists and you’re able to identify what’s important and what isn’t important to you, do you see any patterns? Are your success strategies the ones you succeeded at more important to you and the other one is less important to you?

  2. Negative Consequences
    Here’s something that I found in my studying of what makes people successful in their goals and how do they avoid falling off the wagon. Well often people who are focused have deadlines and there are negative consequences for not achieving what you wanted to do at the time that you wanted to do it.  So have a check for the things that you succeeded at. Was there a negative consequence or something that you didn’t want to have happen? 

    I remember when I was writing the first draft of my very first book. I gave myself until September to finish the first draft.  The beginning of September arrived and guess what? I had a whole pile of courses and training and consulting lined up. The negative consequence would have been I wouldn’t have been able to get back at that book for months and that was something I really wanted to avoid.  So if you’ve got a negative consequence that you really want to avoid, that’s going to help you be more focused to be more motivated.

So my question to you is do you have lots of things that you’d like to be more successful at doing? Would you like to avoid having to put them off or just live with the fact that you didn’t do them?

Check out my mini E-Book. It’s called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving.

If you go to http://www.WishingWantingAchieving.com you will get this very short E-Book that will tell you how to model your own success in more detail so that you can find out exactly all your own success strategies. It also comes with a free MP3 download that you can listen to that’s going to help you focus and achieve more success and avoid having to live with the things that you didn’t do.  Hope this helps.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Overcommitting – Shelle’s Top Tips

Bookmark and Share

Today, our topic is overcommitting. What do you do once you have enthusiastically jumped in and said yes and then you realize you have no time?

The first things I’m going to look at are prevention strategies, and then some tips for how to cure it, how to get out of the commitment once you have made the commitment.


Prevention is a question of calming down and breathing. Lots of people are going to come to you and say, “Hey, Shelle, we’ve got this great idea that we would like to get you involved in.” Instead of saying, “Really? Yes I’ll do it!” breathe. Ask questions:

“Tell me more.”

“What does it entail?”

Take some notes and make sure you thoroughly understand what the person is asking you to do.

Once you’ve had all your questions answered, I suggest you say,

“You know what? I’m going to check with my other commitments to see if I can fit that in. Let me get back to you,” and then let them know when you can get back to them.

Breathe, stay calm, ask questions, and promise that you will check it out with your other commitments. The other person will know that you are taking them seriously. You’re weighing whether or not you have time to do it properly and then promise to get back to them. This gives you the opportunity to see whether or not it will be an over commitment.

The Cure

You’ve said yes. What do you do? First, as soon as possible, you need to do something. Don’t wait. Don’t hide. Don’t chew your fingernails in anxiety. Do something as soon as possible, as soon as you realized you’ve overcommitted.

Secondly, what do you do? Apologize. Use the Bad News Formula. Check out my Shelle’s Top Tips on apologizing and the Bad News Formula for exact instructions on each of these.

Lastly, offer the other person something. You’ve let them down, maybe you can help them find a replacement for you or perhaps there is a part of the task that you can do that will help them out. Find something that you can do and remember to think about this before you speak to them. I suggest you do this on the phone or in person rather than by email. It will go over much better and keep your relationship in good form.

For more tips on how to get out of those sticky communication situations, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me. It’s also an e-book that you can download and it’s got lots of hints and tips for difficult communication situations.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Two Dates and a Couple of Books | NLP

Bookmark and Share

NLP fans: If you are near London, UK, November 15 to 17, please come and see me at
the NLP Conference. I will be doing 2 experimental demonstrations with Penny Tompkins and James Lawley, the creators of Clean Language, and we don’t know what will happen.  Click here to find out more.In addition Michael Neill is doing a full-day pre-conference workshop and there are so many great sessions by excellent presenters. Hope to see you at the NLP Conference!

Speaker, Trainers, Facilitators & Coaches: The Global Speaking Summit is in Vancouver December  8 to 10, 2013. If you want to take your business global, this is the place to be. Click here for all the information. I’ll be there with bells on! Please come!

And I would like to recommend 2 new books:

The Exceptional Speaker by Alan Stevens and Paul du Toit.

My 2 friends from the Global Speakers Federation cover how to create engaging content, stagecraft, how to work without notes, overcoming nerves and when and how to use props and slides. Check it out here.

Klout Matters by my buddies Terry Brock and Gina Carr. Find out how to measure and enhance your influence in today’s marketplace: the digital world. Excellent reading and very practical. Click here to get a couple of free chapters.

Let me know if you would like me to continue to recommend events and other resources now and then. [email protected]

I’m feeling bookish, since Canadian short-story author Alice Munro just won the Nobel Prize for literature! She’s a wonderful story teller.



p.s.Get your LAB Profile® Practitioner certification from the comfort of your home.

LAB Profile® Consultant/Trainer Certification program.Totally NEW Early Reg Package!  Outstanding Savings! Only until Oct 31, 2013

Need help with a communication problem at home or at work.

Dealing with Upset Customers

Bookmark and Share

It’s really important to know how to calm down your customer quickly, get to the root of their problem, solve it, and nourish the relationship for next time.

If you’ve had a chance to look at my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, you’ll get this all laid out for you, but there’s four key steps.

1)     Treat the Emotion First
Most people cannot do these two things at the same time; they can’t be upset and be logical. If you’ve got a customer that’s upset and you try immediately to solve their problem, they probably won’t co-operate because they’re busy being upset and they need you to understand that. So treat the emotion first.

The key is to meet your customer where he or she is. My strategy may seem a little silly because most people are taught to stay calm. But if you think about it, when you are upset about something and the person you are speaking to stays calm, and doesn’t acknowledge either verbally or in their tone of voice that you are upset, it can feel like they are not really hearing you.

Instead, I suggest that when your customer becomes upset about something and they raise their tone that you raise your tone to almost the same level, but you say something helpful and we call that getting upset on behalf of your customer.

This is not the same as yelling at your customer. Step number one is to get upset on behalf of your customer, show them that you are surprised and upset with them. If you don’t sound like you’re surprised when they are upset, your customer may believe that this problem is normal, you don’t care, this happens all the time and your whole company doesn’t care about what happens. Remember, everything you do determines what your customer believes about your whole company. So for step one, treat the emotion first.

Click here to find out more about how to match your customer’s tone, and what kinds of things you can say that will be helpful.

2)    Clarify What the Customer Actually Wants and Take Action

Whether or not you agree that it’s a problem, if the customer thinks it is a problem, we need to sort out what it is they need.  You can suggest two options here that will solve their problem. In my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, there is more information on exactly the wording to use with upset customers.

It is important to make a suggestion at this point, as if you ask the customer “How would you like me to fix this?”, they may become angry again since they will be expecting you to be the expert and to know what to do to fix the issue. So step two, clarify what the customer wants and take action.

3)    Make Amends

Many people don’t think about this, but if your customer is upset, to him or her it is as if they have been hurt. So our third step is to make it up to them. It is not enough simply to say, “Well I’m sorry”. Remember when you were a child and your parents told you to say you’re sorry, your siblings knew you weren’t really sorry. Your upset customers know you are not really sorry either. So what can you do to make amends? Does your company have a policy so that the person actually dealing with the upset customers can make amends right on the stop without having to ask for permission?  So step three, make amends.

4)     Nourish the Relationship for the Future
Make sure that you communicate to your customer so that whenever they contact your company again for any reason, that you have set them up for a positive experience. You can do that by saying, “Listen, any one of my colleagues will help you find what you want and if there are ever any issues, we’ll do whatever it takes do to solve it.  We are your personal fix-it people”.  Make sure they can see a picture in their mind’s eye of how it will be next time, (such as “fix-it people”) That’s how to nourish the relationship for next time.

If you want more information on strategies for dealing with customers and creating a great customer experience, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me, available as an EBook or available in paperback form.

Hope you enjoyed this. Let me know if you got any great ideas from Shelle’s Top Tips.


Click here for more of my blog posts

Click here for my articles

Click here to see me in action
Contact Us:
[email protected]

LAB Profile® Practitioner Opportunity – Live!

Coming up May 23 – 25, 2013 in London may be one of the only remaining opportunities to learn the LAB Profile® Practitioner live with me in English

You see, I will soon be launching the LAB Profile® Online and I’m considering doing a lot fewer of the in-person programs. 

So here’s your chance, not to miss me! And because you are on my email list as a “friend of Shelle”, my host, Robbie Steinhouse of the NLP School and I want to give you another reason to do this program live with me. 

As a friend of Shelle, you will get £200 reduction from the normal price, now only £630 + VAT, instead of £830 + VAT. 

To get this special pricing, please contact Rose Murphy at the NLP School:

+44 207 428 7915 / email [email protected]

 If you need to be more persuasive, or if your success depends on your communication with others, this is probably the program for you.

Click here to find out more.

 Hope to see you there!


p.s. We only have a couple of places left for you to get the special $600 US discount on my 10 day LAB Profile® Consultant/Trainer Certification Program.
Click here for more information.

p.p.s. Have an idea for an upcoming Shelle’s Top Tips? Click here to let me know.

 Check out




Saying No To Your Kids

Bookmark and Share

I know a couple of people, me included, who have difficulty saying no to their children.   

A friend of mine has a daughter who has managed to find ways of getting money from her parents for years. She is in her early 20s now, and still the bank of Ma and Pa is open. Recently, I said no to one of my children who requested something. I then found myself running to my friends and family for support, so I thought maybe it’s time we really think about this. 

Click here to watch the video clip

If you feel that you’ve been the bank of Ma and Pa (that means your bank has been open for them to make withdrawals) one tip I have is to add up how much money you’ve spent on your kids over the last few years. I think you’ll be shocked and I think they’ll be shocked.  

Here’s another tip. When your kids ask you for something usually they just ask you or sometimes they do the big setup where you’re sort of slowly leading to the unending conclusion that you need to lend them some money or give them some money. That’s what happened to me recently.  My suggestion is don’t answer right away. Instead say, “That’s interesting. Tell me more.” And then when they ask you for the money or they ask you for whatever it is they’re going to ask you for, tell them you’ll think about it and get back to them.

I know lots of parents who have to deal with children who are not making their own way. They made terrible financial decisions and then the parents are there to rescue them. I think it’s important to decide when to rescue and when not to rescue, what behaviors are you going to reward and not going to reward. So zoom out. Look at the big picture. How many times has your child stood on their feet, provided for their own needs and made good decisions? And how many times have they not done that and how have you rewarded them? It’s important to figure that out.

So if you find that you’ve been rewarding irresponsible behavior, now is the time to stop. Sit down, plan with your child how they can actually move forward, and tell them what your role is going to be and tell them what you’re not going to do.

But most important of all, when you get hit up for money, just say, “Let me think about it,” and then go and talk to somebody who you know will help you be logical about this.

Our children can certainly pull at our heartstrings and sometimes saying no will really help them grow up.






Do You Dislike Setting Goals?

Bookmark and Share

Here it is January — again! Another new year with all the information about goal setting and why New Year’s Resolutions don’t work.

But what if this is the year when you really want to

  • make a contribution to your world, or
  • make a difference or
  • do something that matters?

If you want a different kind of year, I suggest that you don’t follow the same old goal-setting or goal-avoiding patterns as all the other years.

Most goal-setting processes don’t work, because over 40% of the population are not motivated by goals. Motivation is the problem!

This isnt’t the first time I’ve said that most people don’t like setting goals — and for a very good reason! 

The problem is not whether a specific goal is motivating or not. If setting and working diligently to achieve goals makes you want to stick your finger down your throat, you are not alone.

That’s why I created a short audio program called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving to help you figure out your own success strategies and many, many people enjoyed listening to it.

“I just went through your strategies in Wishing, Wanting and Achieving. As usual it was most helpful. Thanks for sharing it. My reason for writing you, is that I am so very impressed with you, for what you have designed (and are still designing) for the rest of us mere mortals. Keep up the good work.”

Bill Huckabee, Pennsylvania

Wishing, Wanting, and Achieving is excellent. I learned that in order to achieve goals it helps to make them part of what I already do. It also helps to set up a plan as to how the goal can be attained. Thank you so much!”

Trish Belisle, United States

In fact this program was so well-liked that I have also created a Mini E-book  to go with it: Wishing, Wanting and Achieving.

“I can’t thank you enough for this! It has always puzzled me why people don’t achieve goals even if they “really” (as they themselves say it, me included) want to do those things. I only wish that I’ve got my hands on this material earlier. Thanks very much again!”

Elena Kjærsdam, Denmark

Maybe you need something other than the usual goals to help you succeed in 2013!

Click here to listen to Wishing, Wanting and Achieving

Click here to get the Mini E-book, Wishing, Wanting and Achieving

It’s only $4.99 and you can download it right away.

Have a fantastic year and make it really different from any year before now. The world needs you!


p.s. Want to take a program with me in person? Check out where and when at www.ShellesEvents.com



Great Entrepreneurs

Bookmark and Share

Have you ever noticed that weird things happen when you are travelling?

After leading 7 days of training here in Tokyo and singing my heart out at a karaoke night with my students (check out my Facebook page), I had an afternoon snooze. I woke up to a surprise visit from a Paris friend, who brought a whole family of other people with him to my hotel. Then I realized I was still dreaming. I woke up again and had to prepare and conduct a complicated business negotiation. Only to find I was still lying in my bed. Now I’m wondering if I am really awake or not.

And that was 2 days after running into Donald Rumsfeld in the corridor by my room. Was that a dream too? He said good morning to me as I must have looked shocked to see him. Some of my Facebook friends wanted to know if I asked him about “known unknowns”. (If you haven’t heard him on this topic, check it out on YouTube.)

Both of those events are weird, aren’t they?

And then there are the good weird things that happen. I had lunch with a student of mine, and we had a great, creative conversation. We shared our new projects and ideas, and I got to show her the new iPhone app I am about to launch. It is one of a couple of big projects I am working on in the new technology company I founded last year with Micha, my partner. After this conversation, I tweeted this:

“To be a great entrepreneur, be OBSESSED with your idea, while staying open enough to let passing events nourish your creativity and actions.”

And then a little later:

“There is a good time to focus on details and a time to zoom out to the big picture. The challenge is to know the right time for each.”

I realize that this is how my new team makes good progress on our new products. And when we don’t —- we are unfocused and looking at the wrong level of detail.

This visit to Japan has been like that. Meetings with my business partners, students and friends. They all nourished my creativity and I hope I contributed to them too.

When was the last time you had a great, creative, nourishing conversation? Or had weird dreams? Or sang your heart out?

Here’s to the weird life!


Check out www.ShellesTopTips.com if you would like some tips on communicating and solving some of the problems.

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at [email protected].