(français au fond)
I’m writing you from Berlin, getting ready to go to Paris later this week.
I’m so sad about the wars and bombings over the last few months, ….. years! It’s heart-breaking to see what is happening to so many people in so many places. And now again in my old neighbourhood in Paris.
I’m so glad that I belong to communities of people who work and life to improve people’s lives — this is what is important to remember every day. How can I contribute and make things better?
When I get home, I will be contributing to helping Syrian refugees come to Canada.
I hope you also will continue to contribute to making this world a better place.
Je vous écrisde Berlin, et je me prépare àaller à Parisplus tard cette semaine.
Je suissi triste à propos des guerreset les attentatsau cours desderniers mois, …..et dernières annés!Il estnavrantde voirce qui se passeà tant de gensdanstant d’endroits. Et maintenantà nouveau dansmon ancien quartierde Paris.
Je suis heureuse queque jeappartienne à des communautésde personnes qui travaillent et vivrepour améliorerla vie d’autrui — ceciest ce qui estimportant de se rappelertous les jours. Comment puis-je améliorer les choses?
Quand jerentre à la maison, je vaiscontribuer àaider lesréfugiés syriens venont au Canada. Je souhaiteégalement que tu peux continuer àcontribuer à faire dece mondeun endroit meilleur.
I remember a long time ago, when I was planning to escape from my husband. I had hidden the passports (mine and my kids’) in a drawer. I checked the drawer one morning – and they weren’t there!
I panicked – full of fear, heart pounding, l threw papers everywhere looking for those passports! I couldn’t see anything properly, couldn’t think and could hardly breathe.
We have all experienced some kind of fear at some time in our life – pounding heart, sweaty palms, panic, etc.
It’s important to know how to overcome fear, otherwise it can be paralyzing and people can get stuck in a really unhelpful mode.
In this short video and transcript below find out how your mind can create debilitating fear unnecessarily and some simple ideas for how to prevent or change that.
Fear can be frightening!If you are not aware of what you are doing that is causing your fear, it can be paralyzing and, as a result you can feel like you are stuck in quicksand.
A while ago, I conducted a brand new, very advanced training program that I had never done before. I was in a beautiful location with a group of my graduates but, because I was unsure of the new program, I felt like I was walking out on a limb wondering whether the branch was going to break or not.
You can imagine that if that is how I was perceiving the situation, I ended up being very nervous and afraid about giving this new program. And the problem was I didn’t catch myself in time. I had created a very compelling visual metaphor for this new situation: “going out on a limb wondering if it were going to break.” I was seeing this limb in my head with me walking on it, and the limb was very thin indeed, with a lot of distance underneath that I could fall down into! How can you help being afraid if you are see such a metaphor that creates fear?
I was not aware of the metaphor I was using and therefore I had a very difficult week. I did good work. I think my participants enjoyed the program, but it was very challenging and exhausting for me. Afterward I realized what I had done and how important it is to be aware of the metaphors running around in your head. A key question: How do you represent what’s going on in your life?
Another example. Recently I was speaking with a woman who was going through a nasty divorce, and she said, “I feel like I’m a sitting duck.” If you are seeing an image where you are like a sitting duck, how are you likely to feel? She was afraid and anxious. She said she felt paralyzed.
In our conversation, we changed the metaphor to one of her coming out of the woods and entering a prairie, where she needs to build some structures to house herself in. Isn’t that metaphor a lot better than feeling like a sitting duck? During the conversation, she came up with an even better metaphor. She is the powerful Wonder Woman, because she does not have to do what she does not want to do. She found it quite easy to represent her situation in a way that empowers her rather than frightens her.
So my first tip is to be aware of the metaphor you are using to describe a situation. What is the situation like? Become aware of that and then you can change the metaphor if it doesn’t help you or it doesn’t keep you moving in a positive direction.
The second tip for overcoming fear: Lighten up. Probably, at some point in the future, you are going to look back at this incident– or these series of incidents or this time in your life and say, “Wow. I was a little crazy there. I didn’t really look at all this situation with all the different perspectives that I now can.” Ask yourself: How is this situation funny even if it doesn’t seem funny right now? Your sense of humor, if you remember it, will be of enormous help to you.
Here are a couple of resources on metaphors, how you can think about them and how they affect your life. “Metaphors in Mind” by Penny Tompkins and James Lawley, is an excellent book. And so is “Clean Language” by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees. I highly recommend them. They will show you how people construct their metaphors and how you can use “clean language” to work with people, to help them understand their metaphor, their landscape, and how they can continue growing and developing.
My friend Steve Andreas, the well-known NLP developer and trainer has an amazing video program that I want to share with you.
You have probably been hearing a lot about PTSD lately, particularly with regards to returning soldiers and other front-line workers who deal with violent events. PTSD happens when people experience an unexpected or shattering event that continues to have a serious effect on them, long after any physical danger involved has passed.
It’s a disaster that is more and more prevalent. You’ve seen the news; our war veterans are taking their own lives (4 in the last 2 weeks alone in Canada!!), unable to deal with the effects of their war experiences. Those who seek treatment learn that it can take months, sometimes years to see results. And in many places, the military just dismisses these soldiers as “unfit for duty”, with no further help or compensation. (I am SHOCKED by this!)
But there are effective treatments —- and that is why I think it is important to send you this.
Steve Andreas uses NLP methods to transform PTSD symptoms in hours.
In this video program, you’ll see how to help someone resolve flashbacks, nightmares, rages, grief, perfectionism, anxiety, hyper-vigilance, and the internal critical voices that trigger many of these – as well as work with the impact of these problems on relationships at home and at work.
Click here to learn more about this program. Just check it out. Steve has put together an amazing program, that anyone can learn from.
Do you know anyone who could benefit from Steve’s video program “Releasing PTSD”? Please feel free to share this email.
I hope it makes a difference in your life or in the life of someone you love.
Find out what people are saying »
Thank you very much it was a perfect, very effective training. The program will help in understanding other people better and quickly.
Marco BogendoerferZorneding, Germany
This program has helped me find my “niche” and audience, make optimal use of LAB Profiles in marketing and the way I address topics to my potential clients in their appropriate way & style. Many thanks, Shelle! I gained a lot of precious insights and enjoyed the training very much!
Claudia FalkSchaffhausen, Switzerland
A wonderful program that is valuable and insightful on both a professional and personal level. I will be able to make an immediate application to my presentation skills and the course materials are designed for future application in coaching and interviewing managers for development programs.The best workshop I have ever attended in my professional career. Shelle is without equal; truly unique.
I have to say again how much I enjoyed your presentations at the conference! Very inspiring!
Heather TruberDirectorAlberta Health ServicesCanada
Shelle’s keynote ‘Conversational Coaching’ was absolutely fascinating!
Shelle, I loved your presentation and thought it would be great for our leadership teams!
Linda HannahRD Good Shepherd SocietyCanada
I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your opening keynote; it was one of the main talking points of the day. Your Blackberry comment certainly got more than a few people talking!
Mark ArneilPublisherTraining JournalUK
“Shelle has a very charismatic presentation style, and has the ability to make her work tangible and relevant. She displays confidence and passion, and shows a high level of professional expertise. It has been a pleasure working with Shelle.”
Jim TorranceBrand StrategyRBC Financial GroupToronto
I just watched your Top Tip on “Dealing with Setbacks.” Very helpful. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, visions and ways to deal with life and its ups and downs.
Amazing how you manage, within 3 minutes, to “open” up a situation and bring some positive impact. Simple and yet brilliant !
Monique RichterProfessional CoachParis
I enjoyed the program very much. A good mixture of teamwork and partner work, well structured. I love Shelle’s style, very authentic! Influencing in a very positive way. I’m motivated to stay in contact and learn more from Shelle.