Category Archives: Personal Effectiveness

How to Open a Closed Mind

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I was with a person in her early 20’s and I heard her repeat several times in the conversation: “That’s how I am.” Or: “I always have this problem.” Or: I can’t do that.” Or: “I don’t do that.”

“What a shame!” I thought. She has limited her life in so many ways, simply by making up her mind about what is possible and not possible for her. It’s like walking down a corridor and deliberately closing many of the doors, locking them and throwing away the key.

I say deliberately because it is a choice, but I am aware that she, and probably most of us, don’t realize that we ourselves are making these decisions at the time – often we perceive them as facts, not opinions.

The Scientific American Brain and Mind (2015 March/April), cites a large body of research that came to the following conclusions:

  •  Students who believe intelligence is “malleable” do better in university than those who do not.
  • Partners who are convinced personality is malleable do more to resolve conflicts by looking for mutually-beneficial solutions.
  • People who see “adversaries” as flexible, view them more positively.
  • Minority students who decide that people’s biases can change over time may be more motivated and resilient even during negative events.
  • People who are more flexible negotiators do better than their peers.

So what do you do when you notice that you or someone else have closed a bunch of doors?

Firstget permission. There is little point talking to a closed door.
“Could I give you a slightly different perspective on that?” may open the door a crack.

Check again to pry it open a little wider: “I had an idea about this and I’d like to find out what you think.”

If the person expresses or shows some curiosity, now they are peeking out to see what else might be out there. Good start!

Second: State your door opening idea as a possibility or a suggestion and then give the benefit of the suggestion and the problem it solves.

Example:

“I was just thinking what if you broke down this desire into some steps and put them in your calendar as “to do’s” each week (suggestion)? Then it would be clearer, what you needed to do and you could follow your plan (benefit). That way you wouldn’t be stuck in the same place any longer. (problem solved – moving away from the problem).”

Lastly, after they have thought about it or discussed it, help them take a first step through the door. “If X were possible, I’m wondering what the first step might be.”

Example: “If you were to think about making this desire happen, what might be the first step?”

To really help someone open and pass through a door that they had closed, it is important to end on a concrete step, a procedure.

If you end a conversation on all the options, they may still be stuck, because they first have to choose which option to take.

The next time I catch myself deciding something is too difficult, not within my capabilities or not likely to happen, I will:

  1. Ask myself if I would like to consider another possibility (permission).
  2. Ask if it were possible/desirable, what would be the point (benefit) and what issue would it solve for me (problem solved and moved away from)
  3. What would be the first step?

Please try this out and let me know what you think!

Overcome Fear

I remember a long time ago, when I was planning to escape from my husband. I had hidden the passports (mine and my kids’) in a drawer. I checked the drawer one morning – and they weren’t there!

I panicked – full of fear, heart pounding, l threw papers everywhere looking for those passports! I couldn’t see anything properly, couldn’t think and could hardly breathe.

We have all experienced some kind of fear at some time in our life – pounding heart, sweaty palms, panic, etc.

It’s important to know how to overcome fear, otherwise it can be paralyzing and people can get stuck in a really unhelpful mode.

In this short video  and transcript below find out how your mind can create debilitating fear unnecessarily and some simple ideas for how to prevent or change that.

Fear can be frightening! If you are not aware of what you are doing that is causing your fear, it can be paralyzing and, as a result you can feel like you are stuck in quicksand.

A while ago, I conducted a brand new, very advanced training program that I had never done before. I was in a beautiful location with a group of my graduates but, because I was unsure of the new program, I felt like I was walking out on a limb wondering whether the branch was going to break or not.

You can imagine that if that is how I was perceiving the situation, I ended up being very nervous and afraid about giving this new program. And the problem was I didn’t catch myself in time. I had created a very compelling visual metaphor for this new situation:  “going out on a limb wondering if it were going to break.” I was seeing this limb in my head with me walking on it, and the limb was very thin indeed, with a lot of distance underneath that I could fall down into! How can you help being afraid if you are see such a metaphor that creates fear?

I was not aware of the metaphor I was using and therefore I had a very difficult week. I did good work. I think my participants enjoyed the program, but it was very challenging and exhausting for me. Afterward I realized what I had done and how important it is to be aware of the metaphors running around in your head. A key question: How do you represent what’s going on in your life?

Another example. Recently I was speaking with a woman who was going through a nasty divorce, and she said, “I feel like I’m a sitting duck.” If you are seeing an image where you are like a sitting duck, how are you likely to feel? She was afraid and anxious. She said she felt paralyzed.

In our conversation, we changed the metaphor to one of her coming out of the woods and entering a prairie, where she needs to build some structures to house herself in. Isn’t that metaphor a lot better than feeling like a sitting duck?  During the conversation, she came up with an even better metaphor. She is the powerful Wonder Woman, because she does not have to do what she does not want to do. She found it quite easy to represent her situation in a way that empowers her rather than frightens her.

So my first tip is to be aware of the metaphor you are using to describe a situation. What is the situation like?  Become aware of that and then you can change the metaphor if it doesn’t help you or it doesn’t keep you moving in a positive direction.

The second tip for overcoming fear: Lighten up. Probably, at some point in the future, you are going to look back at this incident– or these series of incidents or this time in your life and say, “Wow. I was a little crazy there. I didn’t really look at all this situation with all the different perspectives that I now can.” Ask yourself: How is this situation funny even if it doesn’t seem funny right now? Your sense of humor, if you remember it, will be of enormous help to you.

Here are a couple of resources on metaphors, how you can think about them and how they affect your life. “Metaphors in Mind” by Penny Tompkins and James Lawley, is an excellent book. And so is “Clean Language” by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees. I highly recommend them. They will show you how people construct their metaphors and how you can use “clean language” to work with people, to help them understand their metaphor, their landscape, and how they can continue growing and developing.

For more Shelle’s Top Tips, please go to www.shellestoptips.com

Please let me know what you think below!

Cheers,
Shelle

So what do you expect?

Here it is, the middle of January and I haven’t  set my goals for the year. Didn’t feel like it yet.

My son suggested that I listen to last week’s This American Life Podcast, entitled Batman. They asked: “Can thoughts influence a rat’s behaviour?” It turns out that yes, whether scientists believe their rats are smart or not directly influences their ability to perform tasks.

So of course the next thought is how does that apply to people? They explored in detail Daniel Kish, a man who lost his site as a toddler and how he uses clicks to navigate and do most things that sited folks do. Just search “blind guy who rides a bike” on YouTube to see him for yourself.

But can he actually “see”? A German neuroscientist, explained that images are not external but created in the visual cortex of the brain. She discovered that for Daniel and others who have trained themselves to click, their visual cortex lights up when they use clicking to identify objects in their environment.

It is similar to the peripheral vision you might have when you are walking down the street, texting on your smart phone. You can vaguely see traffic and people around you, but not be able to read signs.

Cool, eh? But how did he manage this, when millions of other blind people are much more dependent on others? It turns out that as a young child, he was not subject to the usual restrictions placed on blind kids. Nobody stopped him when he tried to do things and he developed the clicking methodology (similar to the echolocation used by bats – hence the Batman appellation).

I had a conversation at brunch with friends last week about their worry about their university student son’s lack of social skills and how they are petrified that his life could out badly. I was shocked and asked if they were aware of how their fears were probably communicated to their son? And how this expectation might actually help create the result they most fear?

And then I thought of my expectations on my grownup sons. One I expect to be thoughtful and easy to communicate with. The other is volatile, impatient and hard to get along with. (Yes it’s painful to expose my beliefs about my kids.) And of course I KNOW they are both incredibly intelligent. (They are Jewish after all — cultural expectation – we think our kids are geniuses.) Have I programmed them this way with my expectations?

And what about me? For many years I have expected that I will be “almost” successful. I only recently became aware of this belief/expectation. I’m not sure where it came from —- but it’s possible that I picked it up from expectations in my environment.

So what?

We can be influenced by the expectations aimed at us. From my work with Motivation Triggers, we are External, (affected by factors outside of our body/mind). At least at certain times and places in our lives.

Why, just this morning I listened to the American Life podcast and was inspired to write this piece. It inspired me. And inspired me to really think about what I could do, if I expected great things of myself.

I think I’ll hold that thought for a day inside me. Feel it, see it, hear it, touch, taste and smell it. I expect that I will do great things. This year. Starting now.

What if you surrounded yourself by people and thoughts that are inspiring?
Would that change how you feel and what you accomplish?
Well, there’s only one way to find out!

Please let me know what happens!

 

 

What do you do when faced with temptation?

It’s getting cold here in Burlington, Canada, so what did I do?
I went directly to all my favourite comfort foods.
Breads, cupcakes, rich meaty meals.
And now my jeans have shrunk!
And my tummy rolls over a couple of seconds after I turn over in bed.
“What is that about??!”, I asked myself.
Aha! It’s that temptation thing again.
And then I remembered that I
actually do know how to deal with temptation
.

The real problem is that we get fixated on the temptation.
It is the only thing we see,
the only thing we smell, hear and even taste!
And we want it NOW!
How do you deal with THAT?

Watch the video or read the transcript below: (hint: the video is funny!)

Tips for managing temptation

Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with temptation is to yield to it”, but I believe there’s another option. So here you are, it’s holiday time, the table is laden with all of your favorite foods, some of which you may have even cooked yourself, (talking about myself here again).

You really want to dive in and all you can see is that lovely delicious stuff and you can practically taste it on your tongue before you’ve eaten it. How are you not going to just yield to it as Oscar Wilde said?

When you’re in the store, or you are behind at work and you know you need to be saving money but you really want those things right in front of you. What do you do if you’re on line doing the same thing?

Here are some tips you can use.

First, breathe deeply. Breathe deeply a couple of times because you end up giving in to temptation when you act on it really quickly. If you stand back and give yourself a couple of moments to think, that can be the secret to your success.

Second, after you’ve breathed, go away from the temptation. I go into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. (that maybe too much information). But I remember while I’m sitting on the toilet what my real goal is here. Am I working towards becoming a better person? Am I trying to lose weight? Am I getting into shape? What do I really want? Get back in touch with what is really important.

If you haven’t ever talked to yourself about what’s really important, you might want to do that before you confront the holiday temptations.

The third suggestion for resisting temptation is to go have a glass of water and think about something else. The moment will pass and that’s really, really key.

Temptation only ever happens in the moment. So if you have a couple of tips for how to forget what’s going on in front of you and think about something else, timing off to reconnect with what’s important to you, that’s going to help you with all kinds of temptations whether it’s buying, eating, or anything else you can think of.

I hope these tips have been helpful! Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips and enjoy the holidays. http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

How do you deal with temptation? You can leave your comments below.

The Power of Commitment

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Have you ever noticed that some people keep on succeeding
while others have great ideas
but nothing happens with them in the end?

Do you know people who SAY they will do something
and then put it off
repeatedly?
Do YOU do this?

But do you know what that seemingly small decision reveals about you? Continue reading

How I stopped putting off getting whole again.

Have you ever noticed that when you procrastinate or put off doing something,it stays right in front of you, in your mind’s eye?

You can’t get rid of it, until you actually do the task, or at least do something with it.
It’s been like this for me for a while. Recently I have had to have some surgery
and I had decided that after recuperating,
it would be a great time to finally learn to meditate.
I firmly decided this and then the days passed while my intention remained as firm,
the image stuck in front of my face, but still no action!
 
When I eventually noticed my own incongruence over this
(that’s long part, isn’t it – noticing!)
I picked up and worked through a great book on mindfulness and meditation,
and while well-written, I still wasn’t able to tame the part of me
that usually prefers to do something else.
 
This part often stops me from concentrating.
 
And I didn’t want another internal me vs. me battle!
 
When the student is ready …. the teacher appears. 

Connirae Andreas, PhD, developer of Core Transformation
and many other profound NLP change processes,
let me know about her new video program:
“The Wholeness Process”.

I have spent the past weekend, going through the program
and here is just one gem from it:
After my many attempts to answer the question: “Who am I?”
from all the mindfulness literature, programs, etc,
Connirae reposed the question in a way that made it simple to find my I.
She asked “Where is the “I” who is aware of this sensation?”
That was easy to answer!
In fact, it turns out that many of us have many “I”s.
(No wonder I couldn’t answer that who am I question – I’m at least a village of I’s!!)
 
That’s just the beginning of what I’m finding to be a
surprisingly simple and effective process for
dealing with almost anything. I’m using it to…

  • expand my awareness on how to be fully and completely in the present
  • it is helping me include my Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) habits instead of fighting it
  • I’m using it to resolve some stuck feelings and issues
  • And to find peace and eliminate stress.
The Wholeness Process is Connirae’s new model.
In my opinion, it’s an effective, simple, and direct method for spiritual awakening,
as well as for your own personal development or therapy.
Connirae has been using it with people with chronic sleep issues,
with relationship problems, and troublesome emotional triggers (that’s me!),
as well as deep issues that no other method has helped with.So from my personal experience,
I am delighted to recommend this program to you.
If I can follow it and get a lot from it,
then I suspect you will too.Connirae is offering her program for the low price of:
ONLY $97 (39% off) Limited Time Offer
for her 8 hour video streaming program.
SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY PRICE ENDS APRIL 30th, 2014
(Regular price $159) 
Click here if you want to learn more.
If you know anyone who could benefit –
someone who needs more peace in their life –
please share this email.I know it will make a difference in your life
or in the life of someone you care about.

Cheers,

Shelle

http://www.WordsThatChangeMinds.com

http://www.LABProfileOnline.com
http://www.LABProfileCertification.com

 

Have questions?  Please contact Melody at [email protected]
She is always happy to help and to hear from you.

Great new NLP resources for Trainers. Reduce your preparation time!

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I have a resource for you that I highly recommend.

 

This information is for people who are corporate trainers or NLP trainers.

Would you like some new group exercises

or additions to the ones you’ve already got?

 

As you know, it can take hours and hours to find (or create)

the right exercises to fit your group and your program,

but it doesn’t have to any more!   

 

If you have some familiarity with NLP, here are

practical step-by-step exercises with instructions (with all the handouts etc.).

No more having to wade through loads of theory

to find the right activities.  

  

My friend, the talented NLP Trainer Andy Smith, has designed

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises specifically to

save you days or weeks of preparation time.

 

And for a limited time you get it for 25% off; an exclusive discount

just for my subscribers! (I asked him and he said yes!)

 

This special price is good until February 21st! Don’t miss out.

Want to see if you like it?  

Click here to download 3 group activities for free:

 

Want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off.

You may already know Andy’s work. He is the acclaimed author of

Practical NLP: How to use NLP principles

to improve your life and work, even if you’re not NLP trained.

 

Andy says:

“My aim in writing this exercise pack was to make it the best resource out there for trainers. Pretty much everything I have learned in years of running NLP courses is in there. It’s the resource that I wish had been available when I was a newly-qualified NLP trainer years ago!”

 

I’m not the only one who really appreciates Andy’s work:

 

“At last! – an outstanding, comprehensive and tremendously practical collection of dynamic NLP exercises skilfully brought together that you can adapt to use in trainings, coaching, therapy or NLP practise groups. 

Andy has generously included an invaluable in-depth introduction that includes design of content delivery, how to frame exercises, choosing and briefing assistants and terms and conditions for your course.

He efficiently sets out each exercise with the timing, objective, procedure, what to expect, points to look out for, check and clarify and even FAQs where appropriate, thus ensuring you feel briefed, prepared and confident in your usage.

Andy has produced a resource of fantastic value, that no NLP professional (beginner or experienced) can afford to be without, which includes not only exercises but handouts and wall charts too!”

Balbir Chagger, NLP Trainer, Coach and Speaker 

www.balbirchagger.com 

 

“I’m pleased to wholeheartedly recommend this book to NLP Trainers, NLP Master Practitioners, AND well-trained NLP Practitioners alike. As one of the trainers Andy graciously referenced in this book as one of his sources for some of the exercises quoted in the book, I was profoundly impressed with this collection of valuable resources, organized beautifully and usefully. The book is written at a high enough level that even newly certified trainers will be able to make immediate use of the exercises for the groups they work with.

My opinion: New NLP Students ought to know that exercises from a book like this alone will never lead to becoming a great practitioner, so I don’t think this book is a good substitute for live training. Without the kind of knowledgeable mentorship that expands a students’ resources in optimal ways, exercises by themselves are aimless (and many are described at trainer level, with practitioner-candidate-level relevant knowledge omitted). But once you’ve become a Practitioner with 10 days or more of training behind you, get a copy of this book, and you’ll be able to continue developing your NLP skills powerfully!

This book is a phenomenal resource for skilled trainers who know what signs and patterns to look for in audiences, student behavior, awareness, filters, beliefs, limiting beliefs, learning patterns and strategies, and more. I’m confident it will expand any trainer’s repertoire of learning experiences. Every trainer should acquire a copy!

Jonathan Altfeld (Mastery InSight Institute of NLP)

www.altfeld.com

  

“Absolutely fabulous, packed full of enough detail to run the exercises with little preparation. Thanks for a great product.”

– Jenni Miller

 

“This is a must have if you are running NLP courses – and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been doing it. Andy has long had a reputation for providing top notch training, and this book is a wonderful and generous extension of his standards. It’s not only a resource, it’s a companion, packed as it is with his advice and commentary. This must have been a huge undertaking, and many will thank him for it for many years to come. I’m definitely one of them.”

 

Trevor Silvester, NLP and Hypnosis trainer

Author of ‘Wordweaving’ and ‘Lovebirds’ 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is so what I was looking for as I am teaching my first NLP Practitioner Course next month.  

I asked for it and there it was so much appreciated. 

Also love the way you present it.” 

Regards Maz, NSW Australia

 

Maz Schirmer, NLP Trainer

 

“Andy’s excellent ‘The Trainers Book of NLP Exercises’ is a very rich gold mine of exercises for both the NLP Trainer as well as NLP Practitioners and those of us who run NLP practice groups. The wealth of experiential exercises and structured, yet ‘pick and mix’ learning format is a absolute must have. Buy yourself a copy right now, you will be very very pleased!”

Nigel Hetherington – Master Clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Trainer

 

“A fantastic book full of doable exercises. I can’t wait to start using them. The world of NLP owes Andy a huge gift of gratitude.”

– Peter Hirst

 

“Bought and used. Saved massive amounts of time and got a better result than I could have done under my own steam. Excellent product.”

Rintu Basu, NLP Trainer and author of ‘The Persuasion Skills Blackbook: Practical NLP Language Patterns for Getting The Response You Want

 

Here’s Andy’s description:

What’s in the Trainer’s Pack:

 

A printable e-book – 411 pages, 128 exercises,

plus handouts and wall charts.


PLUS

Word versions of the handouts and wall charts so

you can tailor or rebrand them for your courses!

  This resource kit could save you days or weeks of preparation!     

 

Exercise instructions with:

  • Objectives
  • Timings
  • Procedure
  • Suggested clear-up questions
  • Handout pages (where needed) that you can copy or modify
  • Wallcharts (where needed) that you can copy or modify

Clear exercise formats for:

  • developing NLP skills such as rapport and sensory acuity,
  • practising techniques such as anchoring and sub-modality shifts
  • learning language patterns and hypnotic skills
  • formats for problem solving and exploration, such as the “Disney Strategy”, “Neuro-Logical Levels” and the S.C.O.R.E. model
  • clarifying values and setting goals
  • sharpening questioning skills
  • strategy elicitation and modelling
  • increasing emotional awareness and social intelligence

The Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises also includes a

Microsoft Word document version of the handouts

so you can modify them, and searchable keywords so

you can quickly find activities for workshops on any topic

such as listening skills, self-esteem or assertiveness.

 

I suggest you check it out to see if this resource is right for you.

Click here for more information. 

 

Andy tells me that the exclusive 25% discount, with the   

Coupon Code:  shelle 

applies to any product in the ‘Tools For Trainers’

section of his store.  But only until Feb. 21st!

  

You can download three activities

from the Trainer’s Pack of NLP Exercises for free.

Check them out for yourself: Click here 

Or want to get it right now? Click here 

Enter Coupon Code  

shelle

in the shopping cart to get it for 25% off. Until Feb 21st.

 

If you are a trainer, I really think you will appreciate

the quality of Andy’s work.

 

Cheers,

Shelle

PS: I am recommending it because I think it is a great resource for trainers.

 

Achieve Goals Using Your Own Success Strategies – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Let’s talk about ourselves for just a minute. A lot of people tell me they have tons of stuff that they want to do but they’re not able to get as much done as they would like and I’m not talking about time management issues. It’s about your strategy for achieving and your strategy to avoid dropping things that you really want to do.   Here’s a few tips.

  1. Your Success and Failure Strategies
    Write, jot down a quick list of the things that you’ve actually achieved over the last few months and the things you started to do or wanted to do but didn’t get done.  At a big picture level, can you see any success strategies from the things that you wrote down or any failure strategies that stop you from achieving that?
  1. Level of Importance
    If you have a look at your two lists and you’re able to identify what’s important and what isn’t important to you, do you see any patterns? Are your success strategies the ones you succeeded at more important to you and the other one is less important to you?

  2. Negative Consequences
    Here’s something that I found in my studying of what makes people successful in their goals and how do they avoid falling off the wagon. Well often people who are focused have deadlines and there are negative consequences for not achieving what you wanted to do at the time that you wanted to do it.  So have a check for the things that you succeeded at. Was there a negative consequence or something that you didn’t want to have happen? 

    I remember when I was writing the first draft of my very first book. I gave myself until September to finish the first draft.  The beginning of September arrived and guess what? I had a whole pile of courses and training and consulting lined up. The negative consequence would have been I wouldn’t have been able to get back at that book for months and that was something I really wanted to avoid.  So if you’ve got a negative consequence that you really want to avoid, that’s going to help you be more focused to be more motivated.

So my question to you is do you have lots of things that you’d like to be more successful at doing? Would you like to avoid having to put them off or just live with the fact that you didn’t do them?

Check out my mini E-Book. It’s called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving.

If you go to http://www.WishingWantingAchieving.com you will get this very short E-Book that will tell you how to model your own success in more detail so that you can find out exactly all your own success strategies. It also comes with a free MP3 download that you can listen to that’s going to help you focus and achieve more success and avoid having to live with the things that you didn’t do.  Hope this helps.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Overcommitting – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Today, our topic is overcommitting. What do you do once you have enthusiastically jumped in and said yes and then you realize you have no time?

The first things I’m going to look at are prevention strategies, and then some tips for how to cure it, how to get out of the commitment once you have made the commitment.

Prevention

Prevention is a question of calming down and breathing. Lots of people are going to come to you and say, “Hey, Shelle, we’ve got this great idea that we would like to get you involved in.” Instead of saying, “Really? Yes I’ll do it!” breathe. Ask questions:

“Tell me more.”

“What does it entail?”

Take some notes and make sure you thoroughly understand what the person is asking you to do.

Once you’ve had all your questions answered, I suggest you say,

“You know what? I’m going to check with my other commitments to see if I can fit that in. Let me get back to you,” and then let them know when you can get back to them.

Breathe, stay calm, ask questions, and promise that you will check it out with your other commitments. The other person will know that you are taking them seriously. You’re weighing whether or not you have time to do it properly and then promise to get back to them. This gives you the opportunity to see whether or not it will be an over commitment.

The Cure

You’ve said yes. What do you do? First, as soon as possible, you need to do something. Don’t wait. Don’t hide. Don’t chew your fingernails in anxiety. Do something as soon as possible, as soon as you realized you’ve overcommitted.

Secondly, what do you do? Apologize. Use the Bad News Formula. Check out my Shelle’s Top Tips on apologizing and the Bad News Formula for exact instructions on each of these.

Lastly, offer the other person something. You’ve let them down, maybe you can help them find a replacement for you or perhaps there is a part of the task that you can do that will help them out. Find something that you can do and remember to think about this before you speak to them. I suggest you do this on the phone or in person rather than by email. It will go over much better and keep your relationship in good form.

For more tips on how to get out of those sticky communication situations, check out my book, The Customer is Bothering Me. It’s also an e-book that you can download and it’s got lots of hints and tips for difficult communication situations.

To enquire about booking me for a speaking engagement, please click here.

Dealing with Temptation – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Oscar Wilde said, “The only thing to do with temptation is to yield to it”, but I believe there’s another option. So here you are, it’s holiday time, the table is laden with all of your favorite foods, some of which you may have even cooked yourself, (talking about myself here again).

You really want to dive in and all you can see is that lovely delicious stuff and you can practically taste it on your tongue before you’ve eaten it. How are you not going to just yield to it as Oscar Wilde said?

When you’re in the store, or you are behind at work and you know you need to be saving money but you really want those things right in front of you. What do you do if you’re on line doing the same thing?

Click here to watch the videoclip

Here are a couple of tips.

First, breathe deeply. Breathe deeply a couple of times because you end up giving in to temptation when you act on it really quickly. If you stand back and give yourself a couple of moments to think, that can be the secret to your success.

Second, after you’ve breathed, go away from the temptation. I go into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet. (that maybe too much information). But I remember while I’m sitting on the toilet what my real goal is here. Am I working towards becoming a better person? Am I trying to lose weight? Am I getting into shape? What do I really want? Get back in touch with what is really important.

If you haven’t ever talked to yourself about what’s really important, you might want to do that before you confront the holiday temptations.

The third suggestion for resisting temptation is to go have a glass of water and think about something else. The moment will pass and that’s really, really key.

Temptation only ever happens in the moment. So if you have a couple of tips for how to forget what’s going on in front of you and think about something else, timing off to reconnect with what’s important to you, that’s going to help you with all kinds of temptations whether it’s buying, eating, or anything else you can think of.

I hope these tips. Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips and enjoy the holidays.
http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at [email protected]. Please visit my speaking page too.