Category Archives: Open a closed mind

How to have a dynamic opening to your presentation

You compete for your audience’s attention. Every 5 to 15 seconds, they decide
if you are more interesting or if what’s happening on their phone or computer is more attractive.
Don’t lose the battle! Here’s how to have a dynamic opening to your presentation.

What do you think? How do you open your presentations to get and keep your audience’s attention?

The Language of the First Debate

What is really behind the candidates’ statements in the first US Presidential debate of 2016? While analyses have been made about who won, who fell into the other’s trap etc., I was curious clinton-trump-1st-debateabout who was using which Motivation Triggers™ and how effective they were. Were they able to use words that change minds, and if so who’s?

Motivation Triggers™ describe what motivates people, how they think, how they make decisions and how they act. They show up, hidden inside the words people use, and in their behaviour.

Here are the Motivation Triggers™ that our patented software, Libretta®, scientifically measures:

Toward Motivation Trigger™

People who have a Toward Motivation Trigger™ need a goal to be motivated. They want to achieve something and focus on where they are heading.

Away From Motivation Trigger™

When people have an Away From Motivation Trigger™, they easily notice what is wrong or should be prevented and avoided. They are motivated to get away from the things that bother them.

Internal Motivation Trigger™

People who have an Internal Motivation Trigger™ decide for themselves, based on what is important to them. They tend to reject ideas when told what to do.

External Motivation Trigger™

People who have an External Motivation Trigger™ are motivated when they are appreciated, recognized and get feedback. When making decisions they are influenced by outside people or information.

Options Motivation Trigger™

People who have an Options Motivation Trigger™ love having lots of choices and alternatives. They start things and often then start another something else, instead of completing the first activity.

Procedures Motivation Trigger™

People who have a Procedures Motivation Trigger™ prefer to follow a step by step process and often believe there is a “right” way to do things. Without a procedure they may get stuck. When they start something, they are driven to finish it.

Using the transcript from the first presidential debate in 2016 I ran each candidate’s statements, topic by topic through the Libretta® analysis.

Donald Trump used mainly Away From language when he spoke about the following topics:
the economy, trade deals, government regulations and cutting taxes. He recognizes what the issues are without focusing on solutions or goals to be met.

When talking about jobs he uses Toward language mentioning that he wants to “create tremendous jobs”, but this is a relatively rare use of Toward language compared to the number of times he used Away From and Internal language.

This indicates that he is much more concerned with problems, things he does not like and the strategies that he does not approve of. The language he uses resonates with people who are angry and upset about unemployment, and economic disparity. They respond well to someone who matches their level of anger and frustration, which Donald Trump clearly does.

Hillary Clinton, in her opening statement used more Toward and Internal language, talking about what she wanted to achieve and the goals she thought were important.

When criticizing Donald Trump, she used Away From and internal language fairly consistently and, particularly when she attacked his attitudes actions and behaviors. Her main Motivation Trigger™ was Internal – speaking from her point of view about what she thought was important for the country, but not in problem terms (Away From) nor about moving toward goals (Toward).

She finished the evening with Toward and Internal language in her closing statement, again speaking to what would be important for her to achieve during her presidency.

When Hillary Clinton used Away From language it was mostly directed at Donald Trump, and only rarely directed at issues that need to be solved. For her to attract people who respond well to Away From language, she would need to express more of the outrage at the issues that are faced by Americans who have not yet decided to vote for her and talk about how people are suffering.

This is the strategy that Barack Obama used in his “yes we can” speech. With the exception of that tagline the vast majority of his speech was identified to be in away from language.

To attract some of the Donald Trump supporters or the undecided voters, Ms. Clinton might consider switching the direction of her language (she can still say the same messages) from Toward to Away From for these particular audiences. Being selective about the language patterns per audience what would help her attract some of those undecided and some of the weaker Donald Trump supporters.

Let’s see what happens!
Please let me know what you think.
For more information on my Libretta® software: go to www.weongozi.com

 

 

 

How to Sell to Internals

How to Sell to Internals

My coaching client Brenda, the owner of a web design
and google ads management company, had done an analysis of the current web strategy for one of her prospects.Skeptical
She had unearthed valuable information but had
no way to present it
.
And her prospect, also a business owner could be difficult to deal with. Continue reading

Top Ten Mistakes Women Make with Their Partners

And how you can avoid them in your relationship!

Here they are:

  1. Believing their partner thinks like they do even when they know that’s not true.
  2. Thinking their partner can pick up hints — they can’t.
  3. Being convinced that their partner knows what they want.
  4. Allowing discomfort or some other reason to stop them from talking to their partner about what is is important to them.
  5. Swallowing disappointment, frustration and annoyance till the negative emotion bursts out into resentful yelling.
  6. Telling their partner what to do and expecting that they will do it.
  7. Nagging their partner repeatedly when the partner hasn’t done the “honey-do” list.
  8. Feeling frustrated and powerless because their partner won’t do what they told them to do.
  9. Not considering alternative ways to communicate when the above strategies don’t work.
  10. Resigning themselves to having a mediocre or poor relationship.

How many of these have you caught yourself doing?
This doesn’t have to continue! I have created an iPhone app just for you!
Check out this short video to see how the app works.

It is one of 3 helpful videos in my HusbandMotivator™ IPhone app.
If you want to know exactly how to talk to your partner (whether your partner is a man or a woman);
what to say & do and more importantly what not to say or do,
please check it out in the app store: Look for HusbandMotivator(tm)
This loaded app lets you:

Pick a specific kind of situation, (and you can use it over and over for different situations!)
Helps you identify your partner’s key Motivation Triggers in that situation
Teaches you the 4 Step Motivating Method
Gives you a summary script to get your message across, and
You can email yourself the script so it’s handy when you need it!

And if you are thinking: “What about a WifeMotivator app?”,
don’t worry, you can use HusbandMotivator(tm) with anyone,
including the most difficult people in your life.

Check it out for yourself in the app store and
see how you can improve your communication about:
Activities
Chores/Tasks
Family
Health
Money/Finance
Relationship/Intimacy
Work/Career

I’d love your feedback on the app! Please tell me what you think.
Cheers,
Shelle

How to Open a Closed Mind

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I was with a person in her early 20’s and I heard her repeat several times in the conversation: “That’s how I am.” Or: “I always have this problem.” Or: I can’t do that.” Or: “I don’t do that.”

“What a shame!” I thought. She has limited her life in so many ways, simply by making up her mind about what is possible and not possible for her. It’s like walking down a corridor and deliberately closing many of the doors, locking them and throwing away the key.

I say deliberately because it is a choice, but I am aware that she, and probably most of us, don’t realize that we ourselves are making these decisions at the time – often we perceive them as facts, not opinions.

The Scientific American Brain and Mind (2015 March/April), cites a large body of research that came to the following conclusions:

  •  Students who believe intelligence is “malleable” do better in university than those who do not.
  • Partners who are convinced personality is malleable do more to resolve conflicts by looking for mutually-beneficial solutions.
  • People who see “adversaries” as flexible, view them more positively.
  • Minority students who decide that people’s biases can change over time may be more motivated and resilient even during negative events.
  • People who are more flexible negotiators do better than their peers.

So what do you do when you notice that you or someone else have closed a bunch of doors?

Firstget permission. There is little point talking to a closed door.
“Could I give you a slightly different perspective on that?” may open the door a crack.

Check again to pry it open a little wider: “I had an idea about this and I’d like to find out what you think.”

If the person expresses or shows some curiosity, now they are peeking out to see what else might be out there. Good start!

Second: State your door opening idea as a possibility or a suggestion and then give the benefit of the suggestion and the problem it solves.

Example:

“I was just thinking what if you broke down this desire into some steps and put them in your calendar as “to do’s” each week (suggestion)? Then it would be clearer, what you needed to do and you could follow your plan (benefit). That way you wouldn’t be stuck in the same place any longer. (problem solved – moving away from the problem).”

Lastly, after they have thought about it or discussed it, help them take a first step through the door. “If X were possible, I’m wondering what the first step might be.”

Example: “If you were to think about making this desire happen, what might be the first step?”

To really help someone open and pass through a door that they had closed, it is important to end on a concrete step, a procedure.

If you end a conversation on all the options, they may still be stuck, because they first have to choose which option to take.

The next time I catch myself deciding something is too difficult, not within my capabilities or not likely to happen, I will:

  1. Ask myself if I would like to consider another possibility (permission).
  2. Ask if it were possible/desirable, what would be the point (benefit) and what issue would it solve for me (problem solved and moved away from)
  3. What would be the first step?

Please try this out and let me know what you think!

Get Out of Mental Hibernation – 3 attitudes!

by Shelle Rose Charvet

The news is bad. As usual. Wars, refugees fleeing, earthquakes, climate change, mass job losses, hunger, racism and bombs.  Even if you turn the news off, the negativity still confronts you from many places. Many people are walking around with high levels of fear, anxiety and panic.

But that is not the only choice!

People tend to take one of these three attitudes:

 

To find out more about how you can influence these attitudes, please see my books:
Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, and
The Customer is Bothering Me, or

My NEWEST mini e-book to help people get out of being stuck:
Wishing, Wanting & Achieving

Or Check Out These Strategies:

When you think about it, the fact that you personally can do nothing about the global crises means that you are free to do whatever you choose. While many people are suffering, wringing their hands and worrying, you will notice that there are people who have taken advantage of the collective mental hibernation to retool, rethink and restart.

The opportunity is here for you to clarify and create what you want. Why not? There are certainly no guarantees from employers, so waiting and hoping your job will not be eliminated will not help you if your job does get cut. When you think about it, you would be much better off to design the future you want, rather than wait and hope somehow it happens for you.

One Size Does Not Fit All!

This is where psychology can help. There is a psycho-linguistic tool called the Language and Behavior Profile (LAB Profile®), which shows how different people operate from different Motivation Triggers and Thinking Patterns. It is used in by marketers to understand and motivate large groups as well as organizations for hiring, managing employees.

For example, some people are only motivated when they get to take the initiative. This is the LAB Profile® Motivation Trigger called Proactive. They love being active and getting out and making it happen. Right now they are really frustrated because they are being told everything is out of their control. When these people are unable to take initiative they become de-motivated and depressed quite quickly. To get out of their negative space they need to proactively create a new reality for themselves. The easiest way for them to create compelling images about what they want.
Here are some of the questions a proactive person needs to ask:

• What do I really want in my life, or in my work?
• Why is that important to me?
• What are the steps I need to take right now to make this happen?
• What possible obstacles do I need to prevent now?
• What is the first step I can do today?

These questions are oriented towards action. A Proactive needs to act now and have something specific to do. These questions allow that person to get into action immediately and start getting results.

But this will not work for someone who prefers to think things through slowly and carefully. This person has a Reactive Motivation Trigger and really needs to thoroughly understand what they are going to do.
Here are some questions a Reactive person can ask themselves to consider how to get out of their mental hibernation:

• What is important to me in my life or in my work?
• Why is that important?
• What steps will need to be in place to have this happen?
• What could be the obstacles that I will need to have a solution for?
• What are the solutions to the obstacles?
• What is the first step in my plan I can start today?

These questions allow the Reactive person to think their situation through, without feeling pushed. They need to spend some time creating a vision in their mind and working out the steps towards it.

Some people are only motivated when they have a goal. About 40% of the population has this pattern, the LAB Profile® Towards Motivation Trigger. A Towards person will act when they have a goal to move towards, otherwise they can get stuck and not move forward. During a time world or personal crisis many Towards people panic because they see only problems around them and nothing to move towards. This can be disastrous for them unless they take the initiative to create their own goals.
Here are some questions they can ask themselves:

• What do I want in my work and in my life?
• What will that do for me?
• What are the steps I will need to take to achieve my goals?
• What are the obstacles I will need to find a solution for to achieve my goals?
• What is the first step I can do today to move toward my goals?

If only 40% of the population are motivated to achieve goals, what is motivating the others?
The other 40% of the population is motivated to avoid or prevent problems from occurring or to solve one that is already happening. This Motivation Trigger is called Away From because these people are motivated to move away from the things they do not want.
In a crisis there are many things they could move away from and they run the risk of turning in circles, away from all the bad alternatives. The key for them is to make sure they focus on one issue to move away from and to identify what they want instead.

Here are some questions that they can answer to help find their way and not get lost:

• What do I most want to prevent from happening?
• What do I want instead?
• If I do not succeed in that, what will happen?
• If I do succeed, what will I gain?
• What are the steps I need to take to move away from what I don’t want and to achieve what I do want?
• What are the obstacles I will need to overcome?
• What can I start today so that I won’t stay stuck?

The last question in each set is critical because it helps get the person moving and back into action moving towards their goals (or away from their problem).

You can see that it is important to match a person’s motivation to get out of mental hibernation. You can ask the questions in a way that engages a person’s motivation rather than trying the “one size fits all” solution.

The LAB Profile® is composed of six distinct Motivation Triggers categories and eight mental processing categories. Business leaders, marketers, human resource professionals, trainers, consultants and coaches are now using the LAB Profile around the world to understand, predict and motivate people’s behavior.

To find out more about the LAB Profile®, please see my books:
Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, and
The Customer is Bothering Me, or

My NEWEST mini e-book to help people get out of being stuck:
Wishing, Wanting & Achieving

Want to be certified to train the LAB Profile®?
Here’s the latest program info for you: www.LABProfileCertification.com