Category Archives: Manipulation

Judge Kavanaugh and Dr. Blasey Ford

The Clarence Thomas – Anita Hill affair in 1991 polarized America along male-female lines in the same way that the OJ Simpson trial polarized the nation along the black-white fault line, and the debate still rages over what happened.

And without a fuller understanding of what happened then, the chances of avoiding another smashing of a woman victim of sexual assault are minimal.

Suzette Haden Elgin, a socio-linguist, professor and author of the series: The Gentle art of Verbal Self-Defense postulated a reason Anita Hill was never believed, and Clarence Thomas was found credible by the white male senators. In her 1993 book Genderspeak: Men, women, and the gentle art of verbal self-defense, Haden Elgin identified gender-based “Operating Metaphors”; metaphors by which people run their life.

A person’s Operating Metaphor fills in the blank in the sentence “Life is a ……..” and enables them to have fundamental rules about how to run their life.

Haden Elgin found that many men’s Operating Metaphor is “Life is a team sport,” and that most activities are therefore a game, where the objective is to win, even if you need to bend the rules (i.e. stealing a base in baseball). In a team sport everyone has a role to play and you are expected to play your role.

She found that many women run their lives as if Life is a “Traditional Schoolroom,” where if you do the right things, follow the rules, and work hard you will be promoted (pass exams, go to next grade). Failure is a disgrace. Cheating or being dishonest is shameful.

Haden Elgin’s explanation of the Thomas-Hill debacle is that Thomas played the game very well. He played the race card, the victim card and since he played these roles very well, his role in the game being played out was fully understood by the white male senators holding court. For Anita Hill to have had any credibility with these men, she would have had to look the part and play the role of a victim of sexual harassment. In other words, she needed to look downtrodden, beaten-up, her life in tatters.

But this was not her game. She wasn’t playing a game. She bravely did the right thing and stood up against someone who broke the workplace rules. She forthrightly and assertively made her case, without embellishing or cowering under the barrage of invasive attacks by the Republican senators. She most certainly did not come across as a victim.

So they couldn’t believe her —- she was not in the same story as the decision-makers.

If Dr. Ford is to have a whisper of a chance of being believed, unfortunately she will need to demonstrate to the game-players in their terms that she was indeed a victim of Judge Kavanaugh’s sexual aggression. And this in an era where facts are construed as partisan wrangling – once again the game metaphor at play.

Le Quiz du Macho

Le Quiz du Macho – S. Rose Charvet

Êtes-vous macho ? Probablement pas, mais de toute façon, vous pouvez le vérifier pour vous-même, avec ces 10 questions simples. Vous pouvez également montrer ce quiz à vos relations privilégiées.

Le questionnaire

Instructions : Pour chaque proposition, entourez le choix qui correspond le mieux à ce que vous feriez dans cette situation.

1. Quand des personnes importantes pour vous font des suggestions, vous :

a) pouvez remarquer ce qui est erroné dans leur idée.
b) avez une meilleure idée.
c) reconnaissez qu’elle est issue de pensées que vous avez eues précédemment.
d) écoutez et recherchez ce qu’il y a de bon dans cette suggestion.

2. Au travail les gens passent vous voir parce que :
a) vous avez un niveau plus élevé de connaissances et de qualifications.
b) vous savez que ce que vous faites et vous les aidez beaucoup.
c) Vous êtes dans votre rôle de leader.
d) vous faites en sorte qu’ils se sentent appréciés pour leur contribution.

3. Vous vous rappelez d’un moment du passé au cours duquel quelqu’un a critiqué quelque chose que vous avez fait parce que :

a) ils avaient mal compris ou avaient fait une erreur.
b) ils vous rendaient responsable de difficultés pour lesquelles vous n’étiez pour rien.
c) ils ont simplement eu une opinion différente de la votre.
d) ils ont eu besoin de faire un point et de façon valable.

4. Dans votre famille vous :

a) savez généralement ce qui est le meilleur pour elle.
b) ne serez qu’occasionnellement convaincu de changer d’avis une fois que vous avez pris une décision.
c) écoutez ce qu’ils pensent même si vous savez ce qui est exact ou erroné
d) avez appris à écouter et à respecter leur souhait, parfois même lorsque vous êtes en désaccord.

5. Quand vous êtes sûr que quelqu’un a tort, vous :
a) lui faite savoir sans mâcher vos mots.
b) êtes secrètement enchanté et lui faites savoir avec douceur.
c) désapprouvez et attendez ses réponses.
d) questionnez leur point de vue et puis exprimez votre manière de voir les choses.

6. Quand vous faites une erreur :

a) il est si rare que vous fassiez des erreurs et est difficile de retrouver des circonstances ou vous en avez fait.
b) vous détournez souvent l’attention vers autre chose.
c) vous dites plutôt que les autres l’ont ignorée.
d) cela montre simplement que vous n’êtes pas parfait.

7. Quand quelqu’un offre de vous dépanner :

a) vous pensez qu’ils disent que vous ne faites pas un bon travail et rejetez leur offre.
b) vous refusez habituellement parce que vous pouvez le faire mieux par vous-même.
c) vous vous demandez si l’offre n’est pas une critique voilée.
d) quand vous avez besoin d’aide, vous êtes heureux de l’offre et l’acceptez.

8. Quand vous ne savez pas faire quelque chose :

a) vous ne pouvez pas vous rappeler que vous ne savez comment le faire.
b) vous poursuivez et trichez pour le faire.
c) vous travaillez à autre chose.
d) vous recherchez la réponse ou demandez à quelqu’un qui sait.

9. Quand quelqu’un vous dit qu’il y a un gros problème avec ce que vous faites :

a) vous explosez et remettez cette personne à sa place.
b) vous lui faites savoir combien elle se trompe.
c) que considérez qu’elle se fait une montagnes à partir de rien et qu’il n’y pas de quoi dramatiser.
d) vous écoutez pour découvrir ce qu’il considère comme inexact.

10. Quand vous découvrez quelque chose que personne d’autre ne sait :

a) vous faites savoir à chacun que vous savez quelque chose qu’il ne sait pas
b) vous dites avec regret aux autres que vous aimeriez pouvoir leur dire mais que vous ne pouvez pas
c) vous êtes ravi de laissez les autres dans le secret que vous seul connaissez.
d) si c’est un secret que vous gardez pour vous-même et si vous pouvez dire, vous le dites.

Feuille d’interprétation, Quiz du Facteur Macho

Pour chaque a) comptez 4 points, b) 3 points, c) 2 points, d) 1 point.
Si vous avez marqué 14 points ou moins, ajoutez SVP 20 points.

Pour interpréter votre score, voir ci-dessous.
30-40 points = Méga Macho
20-29 points = principalement Macho
15-19 points = Mini Macho
0 à 14 points = Macho Free

Méga Macho : Les autres doivent vous traiter avec des pincettes.Vous cachez probablement une profonde insécurité. Vous avez tendance à saboter votre propre apprentissage en ne recevant pas l’information qui vient de l’extérieur.

Principalement Macho : Vous pouvez être souvent entêté avec les autres, mais pourrez par la suite entendre raison.

Mini macho : De temps en temps vous vous mettez en colère avec certaines personnes, mais le plus souvent vous n’avez pas besoin d’être le plus grand, le meilleur ou le centre de l’attention.

Macho Free: Vous êtes ouvert aux nouvelles idées, même si elles ne sont pas les vôtres et vous êtes disposé à célébrer la créativité et le succès des autres.

Pour vérifier les stratégies de communication, face aux Macho, vous pouvez voir l’article “Le Test du Macho. Voulez-vous en savoir plus sur la communication et l’influence ? Abonnez-vous à la Newsletter irrégulière de Shelle.

© Shelle Rose Charvet : info@successtrategies.com
www.wordsthatchangeminds.com

Shelle Rose CHARVET, d’origine canadienne, est une conférencière internationale et l’auteur du bestseller « Le plein pouvoir des mots » chez Interéditions et disponible en huit langues. Elle est enseignante certifié en PNL, Certified Speaking Professional de la Global Speakers Fédération et Présidente pour 2009 de l’association canadienne de conférencier/ières professionnel(le)s. Elle est connue pour son esprit pratique, son sens de l’humour et son respect profond pour ses interlocuteurs.

Ways of Thinking: When Business Meets Politics by L. Michael Hall

I’m so delighted to share with you this excellentarticle by my friend and colleague Michael Hall. Reprinted with permission.

WAYS OF THINKING: When Business Meets Politics by L. Michael Hall

 How a person thinks determines how that person talks and acts.  We all know that and, strange as it seems, we all also tend to forget it.  Continue reading

Get Someone to do What you Want – Shelle’s Top Tips


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A lot of people tell me that getting others to do what you want them to do can be very difficult at times.

So here’s three tips on how to get someone to do what you want.

1)     Find Out What’s Important to Them
Most of us know what’s important to us but we don’t take the time to find out what’s important to the other person. Ask a few questions first about what is important to them, or think about it from their perspective.

2)     Link What You Want to What’s Important to Them
Usually, we just talk about what we want and we don’t link it to anything that the other person might like. What is the link? How can you make a case?

3)     Speak in a Way that is Motivating for Them
For example, if that person is very goal-focused or goal-oriented then you need to tell them what the benefit is (Toward Language).

If they tend to be more problem-focused and the kind of person who notices what is wrong and easily criticizes, tell them what problem will be prevented or solved; what they can move away from.

You can guess if they are in a Toward mode and need a benefit or a goal, or if they are more Away From and prefer to  hear about consequences or negative consequences that they can avoid by doing the thing that you want.

Click here to learn more about influencing and persuasion.

Two more hints about speaking in a way that motivates the other person.
Do they want to have lots of choices and lots of options?  We call that Options Language. Or would they rather have a step-by-step procedure for doing something and talk about how to do something?  We call that Procedures Language.

Think about these 3 easy steps the next time you need to get someone to do what you want.

If you want more tips to solve problems (Away From Alert!) and get what you want (Toward Alert!), visit http://www.ShellesTopTips.com and check out my books and audio programs for yourself at http://www.theshellestore.com

Help!! My presentation is tomorrow!!

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Just mention the word presentation to most people and they will start to get nervous; even just thinking about it. 

Do you have an idea that you know will make a difference but you don’t know how to get it across in the right way and/or the thought of standing in front of an audience makes you sick and shaky?  

For many people this is an experience that causes high stress and anxiety.

BUT

It doesn’t have to be.

Learning how to structure your information and present your ideas in a captivating way will leave you feeling confident and powerful before, during and after your presentation.

I have been presenting to audiences of all sizes all over the world for many, many years and I was the past president of CAPS (The Canadian Association of Professional Speakers).

With my combined expertise in communication and presentation skills I have created 3 MP3s that share with you my proven one-of-a-kind presentation techniques in an easy to learn format that will have your audience entertained and wanting more.   

Save over 30% when you purchase all 3 MP3s together.  ONLY $19.97 US  

CLICK HERE TO GET “THE PERFECT PRESENTATION PACK” NOW!

Click below for more information
http://www.perfectpresentationpack.com

The Perfect Gift for Anyone! Students, co-workers, friends, family.

Still not sure? Feeling a little skeptical?

Click below to view my speaking page
http://www.shelleinaction.com   

How to have a Dynamic Opening to your Presentation - Shelle's Top Tips
How to have a Dynamic Opening to your Presentation – Shelle’s Top Tips

Don’t miss out on my LAB Profile Consultant/Trainer Certification Program 2013

We are offering a $600 US discount PLUS a FREE Group Coaching Session with Shelle after the program to the first 11 registrants – there are only a few spots left

Click here for all the information you need to know

We offer flexible payment options if needed.

If you would like to know how this program will benefit you both personally and professionally I will be happy to speak with you.  Please contact Melody at melody@wordsthatchangeminds.com and she can find a time that is suitable for us both. 

Cheers,

Shelle 

 +1-905-639-6468

http://www.wordsthatchangeminds.com
http://www.theshelleblog.com
http://www.shellestoptips.com
http://www.shellesevents.com
http://www.shelleinaction.com
http://www.shellesarticles.com
http://www.theshellestore.com

Motivating Yourself

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Sometimes the hardest thing for people is finding a way to motivate themselves. They say they want to do something and they don’t do it. One of the most important things about  motivating yourself and staying motivated is to know your own motivation triggers.

For those of you who know me, you know a lot about my book, “Words That Change Minds” which talks about all these different motivation triggers. But, let’s talk about some specific things that are important to you but you have trouble either getting motivated or staying motivated.

Most people’s long term goals don’t give them immediate satisfaction, but the critical action times for motivating yourself are in the here and now. If you want to get fit, for example, and every day you decide you’re going to get up and go for a run. I’m talking about this because this is something that I do and some days I don’t do, every day is the important piece for your long term goal of getting fit. But how do you motivate yourself to get out of bed when you’re actually comfortable? Or how do you keep motivating yourself to stick to the nutrition routine that you’ve decided for your long term goal? I’m learning the German language and I have a lesson every week, and I need to put in more time. How do I succeed at motivating myself to do that?

Let’s look at a couple of things. Sometimes people have goals, but they don’t get started. And the reason they don’t get started is they think the goal is important, but it’s not urgent enough to do now. So they have a “toward” pattern in that they want to move towards the goal, but nothing makes it happen right now.

There’s nothing that makes you do something right now like an emergency or something that’s urgent. So if you don’t get started on the goal that’s important to you, it’s because you haven’t figured out what you want to move “away from”.

Let’s just take an example that I’ve lived a few times and that is I decide I would have a new weight, a lower weight. So I set my weight goal and I start to move towards it. Why not? Well, what I need is an image in my head of what I don’t want to make it an emergency.

Instead I need to get up, and look in the mirror– before I get stressed and say, “Ack!” Now that’s an emergency, right? That will get me started on a new routine of walking and running and a new nutrition program, etc. But the problem with goals that you do because you want to move away from a problem, is if you go, “Ack! I don’t want to look like that. Ack! I don’t want to feel like that,” is you have a very strong motivation at the beginning, but it doesn’t hold.

So if you want to keep motivating yourself every day, you need to have something to move away from and something to move towards. So here’s another trick: if you’re trying to continue motivating yourself just by talking to yourself, it’s usually not strong enough. You need to create an image in your mind of both of what you don’t want and what you do want.

What you don’t want will push you away and what you do want will draw you towards your goal. So if you have both of those motivation types, “the away from” and the “toward”, that’s even stronger.

Want to learn more about these or other motivation triggers?�
Click here for my LAB Profile® Learning Program

Here are a couple of other tips. If you have a set process that you incorporate into your day, chances are you will remember to follow it. Particularly, if you have your “toward”, your “away from” and your “toward image”  set up so that you can move towards.

Now, how do you do that? Everybody has rituals. Put your new behavior or the thing you want to do inside one of the rituals or procedures that you already follow. So let’s say I’d like to take vitamins. Well, if I put the vitamins away in the cupboard, every morning I go and make my breakfast, I don’t even remember to take those vitamins.

I want this motivation thing to be easy. I don’t want to feel like I’m pushing a rock every day. So how do you do the vitamin thing in an easy way? Well, if you have tea or coffee in the morning, put the vitamins beside the kettle or in the teapot or in a coffee pot. When you see that, you’ll also see the vitamins much easier, no effort to remember.

The easiest way to have a new behavior and maintain it once you have the motivation pieces in place is to insert the new behavior inside a process or a procedure that you already do.

Would you like more information on how to get and keep motivated?
Click here  for my “Wishing, Wanting & Achieving” mini ebook – only $4.99 USD

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com. Please visit my speaking page too.

http://www.labprofilecertification.com
http://www.shellestoptips.com
http://www.shellerosecharvet.com
http://www.theshelleblog.com

How Visualization Can Create Bad Judgement and Alternatives to Self Delusion

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My coaching client Sophia had explored a business opportunity with a franchising organization and was very excited to tell me about it. It combined many of the activities that she found motivating; it would enable her to work from home, set her own schedule, work in a people job and use her communication skills.  It seemed great. She could see herself doing all those things and being happy.

Sofia contacted them to arrange attending their open house and was dismayed to find that there was no room left in the one next week and she would have to wait a month before  being able to attend the next one. Then two days later they phoned to say a space had opened up and she could go right away.  She also told me about another similar business opportunity but up to this point had yet to explore it in any great detail, because she was very motivated by the first one.

Here’s where I intervened. “Did you have an image of working in this business?” I asked. “How did it feel?”  “It was great!” she replied, “I could see the whole thing.”  “Did you have an image of the second business opportunity and how that might be?” I asked.  “Well no” she said, “but when a space in the open house for the first one opened up, I thought it was a sign this was the opportunity for me.”  “Perhaps it was a sign” I said “that they really want you to buy this business.”

One Image Can Create a Commitment

The purpose of visualization is to make something real, and it is a very effective technique.  When Sophia visualized the first business opportunity, she not only saw it in detail, she lived it.  She jumped into the image and had the experience of what she imagined it would be like.  When she had done this it was very difficult for her to consider any other opportunities.  She began to interpret events as signs that this was the right thing to do.

Having only one image, she became committed to it. I did the same thing a few years ago when I visited a house that I was considering buying. I could see my family living there; saw us hanging out in the living room, was able to walk around the kitchen knowing that I could cook there, the back yard was a great one to be sitting in, etc, etc. The same week I put in an offer on this house, interest rates went up two points, and I lost my contract with the local college. Buying this house was not to be.  But because I had already imagined us living there, I felt a deep depressing sense of disappointment, as if my dream home had just been taken away from me.  At the time I thought that was such a weird reaction to have since I’d never actually lived there.

That’s the problem with having a vivid imagination.  Having conjured up an image of living there made it feel like I actually had or that I was going to live there.  Having imagined what it would be like to work for this franchise made Sofia commit to the idea.
A friend of mine said that many women do essentially the same thing when they first meet a potential partner. They immediately visualize, sometimes in great detail, their whole future unfold with this person. No wonder this puts enormous pressure on the new person in their life!

Your brain, in need of closure will do it’s best to complete the image and then the handy-dandy process of self-justification jumps in to find reasons why this image is the right one*.

Bad Judgment

Once you have a clear image it is as if your brain has shut down and stops being open to other possibilities. For instance, imagine you are sitting in a chair in front of a large window, looking out at a large beautiful pine tree.  Look out the window towards the tree. There may be other trees around, but notice now how prominent the pine tree is in your image and how it takes some voluntary effort to bring the other trees into focus.

In and of itself this is not a problem, but when you have not clearly defined your decision-making criteria or considered alternatives, this ability to become focused on one sole image can lead to bad judgment simply because you took the first available option.
This means that you had no real choice.  Or, there was no opportunity to evaluate the choices against what is important to you and therefore make the best choice.  In this system, where you visualize and then choose the first option, you miss the opportunity to:

  • learn from your experience,
  • analyse risk, as well as
  • analysing potential opportunity

and you may end up making a bad decision.

Real Choice and Great Decision-Making

So what is the alternative?  Different people, of course, have different decision-making strategies.  Good decision-making strategies
however all have a few points in common.

They:

  • Define outcomes,
  • Identify criteria for knowing when an outcome is reached and
  • Present a minimum of three choices.

Three choices are better than two, because two choices tend to be the extremes of an either/or kind of relationship.  “Either I leave or he leaves.”  Not many options there. With three choices you have a real opportunity to see and experience alternatives against what is important to you without only considering the extremes.

Here is a decision-making process that keeps you real choice and will help you make great decisions:

  1. Define the outcome you would like to achieve.
  2. List your criteria for what is important to you about your decision.
  3. How will you know, what evidence will you use for each of the criteria?
  4. Imagine three choices.  One at a time, see each choice in your mind’s eye, holding your most important criteria in your heart. Step in and out of each choice, exploring them one at a time as if you were there.  What happens in each situation?  How do you feel each situation?  What are the future consequences of each choice, as you explore them through time?
  5. Step outside these three options.  Which of them most closely matches your criteria, your outcome and feels the best? Are there any downsides to this particular option that you need to take into account?

Example Outcome: I would like to have my own business.
Criteria: target annual income $100,000, with the take-home income of $50 – $75,000, by the end of three years.  Work in a consulting role with both individuals and teams of people, using proven methodologies for IT solutions in small business enterprise software work and maximum of 40 hours per week, based from home, with visits to local businesses.  Well-defined successful sales model with lead generation to be part of the business.
This is an example for someone who wants to start their own IT consulting business.  He or she could then try out 3 different models or opportunities.

Imagine walking along the road in the country, with beautiful scenery on either side and you come to a place where the road branches in three different directions.  At first, you are not certain which road to take and you realize it is because what you want is not yet clear.  You pause, reflect, and come to understand that the thing you want most is now clear in your mind.  You can see it , hear it, smell it, touch and taste it.  You look at the three paths in front of you and imagine taking each one, exploring where the path leads you, knowing what it is you truly want.  You come back and now you know which of the paths is for you.

One image is no choice; three or more helps you have great judgement.

***Let me know what you think – shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com

* In Mistakes Were Made (but not by me) by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (2007) Harcourt Books, the authors detail the exact process by which human beings reduce conflict (dissonance) and then justify whatever they think and do.

Have a look at other Shelle’s Top Tips http://www.ShellesTopTips.com

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@successtrategies.com. Please visit my speaking page too.

Do you hate setting goals?

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You have probably read, heard, and seen lots of information about the benefits of setting goals. Maybe you have even created a vision board and achieved the things you visualized.

Most people don’t set goals — and for a very good reason! 

Most goal-setting processes don’t work.

Years ago when I started teaching the NLP Outcome Strategy in companies, people would come up to me, months or years later and whisper in my ear: “I tried that goal process. It didn’t work. I don’t know why.”

This got me to thinking! How many times have I set an intention, visualized it, wrote it down, worked toward it but never achieved it? For each year for about 15 years I set the goal of achieving a certain weight. Have you seen me lately :-)?

So what is the issue that plagues so many people? It is not usually a problem of knowledge or skill — if you only needed to find out how to do something to be successful, most people would accomplish what they wanted.

Did you know that over 40% of the population are not motivated by goals? Motivation is the problem!  

I am not even talking about whether a specific goal is motivating or not. If setting and working diligently to achieve specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, ecological goals makes you want to stick your finger down your throat, you are not alone.

A few years ago, I created a short audio program called Wishing, Wanting and Achieving to help people figure out their own success strategies.

Maybe you need something other than goals to help you succeed!   

Click here

 to listen to Wishing Wanting and Achieving!

 Please let me know what you think of this program, shelle@successtrategies.com 

 I wish you much happiness, health and success Shelle!

Cheers,
Shelle 

ps. Looking for a speaker for your event?  click here  .   

pps. Here are some useful links.
http://WordsThatChangeMinds.com
http://www.ShellesEvents.com
http://www.LABProfileCertification.com
www.ShellesTopTips.com
www.TheShelleStore.com

Canadian HusbandMotivator™ App goes viral!

Contact:
Shelle Rose Charvet
+ 1-905-639-6468
shelle@weongozi.com

BURLINGTON, ONTARIO, Nov. 11, 2011 – The new HusbandMotivator™ App is a Canadian Success Story.

Featured on NBC, CBS, CNBC, ABC and FOX, all week.

Shelle Rose Charvet, creator of this app says: “The news media went wild — they made the weirdest comments. And it went viral on Twitter.”

The HusbandMotivator™ App gives you tips, hints – and a simple script to read to make your requests touch all the right buttons to persuade your husband to do what you want.

The new app uses the latest Artificial Intelligence tools to identify the psychological triggers that will move your husband to take action.

“HusbandMotivator™ can help improve your relationship and solve problems with your man. Now you can change your husband’s behavior – without nagging. Is this the best wedding gift you never got?” said Shelle Rose Charvet, a linguistics expert and Founder of Weongozi, (www.weongozi.com) the company that developed the HusbandMotivator App.

“The surprising thing is that most people don’t know what motivates their soul mate.

“Most women don’t realize that men have different motivations for different situations. That’s why it is so hard to get your husband to do something. When you finally think you have him figured out and try one tactic, you find it doesn’t work because he has different motivations for different activities or problems. That’s why we designed this app so you can use it over and over. It’s the no-nagging solution,” she said.

The company is developing a series of technology-based tools to solve communications issues in the workplace.

“Our products help you understand how others get motivated, think, and make decisions so you can live your life better,” she said.

With HusbandMotivator™, motivating your man to complete a honey do list is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Answer four short questions about your husband

2. You’ll discover the hidden triggers that motivate him

3. Read the exact words to say from a customized script that motivates your man

HusbandMotivator™ can help improve your relationship in these areas:

Household chores, such as home repairs, car repairs, housework, chores, deciding what needs to be done and lawn and garden tasks

  • Family issues, involving child care, family time, disciplining children, children’s sports and activities and fun time together
  • Intimacy in marriage including sex, talking about problems, our relationship, spending time together and having fun together
  • Money, including money management, investing, retirement planning, major purchases, minor purchases, spending and saving
  • Work, including career choice, getting a job, work issues, career advancement and communication at work
  • Health, including work/life balance, exercise, eating habits, stress management, seeing a doctor and taking care of himself
  • Activities, such as leisure time, choice of restaurants, sports, shopping, vacation, cultural events and movies

The program is easy to use and can be set up in as little as 30 seconds.

“Although the language we use to describe the product is humorous, the psychological concepts behind the product are steeped in research,” said Charvet. “That’s what our company helps you do: Live better by understanding better. And have fun doing it.”

HusbandMotivator™ and other Weongozi products are based on Computational Linguistics (a field of Artificial Intelligence), leading-edge psychology, and Psycho-Linguistics.

To order the product, go to the App Store.

About Weongozi

Weongozi (pronounced we-on-GO-zee), founded in 2010, is the culmination of decades of experience in Computational Linguistics, Psychology, Psycho-Linguistics, and Computer Science.

When it comes to improving understanding, we practice what we preach — Weongozi has teams in North America and Europe, speaking three different languages.

Founder and CEO Shelle Rose Charvet is an expert in below-conscious communication; what drives people to do (or not do) things, outside of their awareness. People and organizations seek her out for solutions to marketing, sales, negotiation and team management challenges. Her specialties include Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the LAB Profile®, a psycho-linguistic tool for uncovering how people get motivated, how they think and make decisions.

Author of the international bestseller, Words That Change Minds: Mastering the Language of Influence, Shelle is a Certified Trainer of NLP. She is also a Certified Speaking Professional from the Global Speakers Federation and a Certified Life Skills Coach since 1983.

Technology Director Dr. Michael Tschichholz is deputy head of the Competence Center for Electronic Government and Applications (ELAN) at Fraunhofer-Institute FOKUS in Berlin.

He leads international projects in Germany and Europe to help governments adopt new technology platforms, a field known as eGovernment. His Ph.D. is in Computer Science from the Technical University of Berlin.

Weongozi works in partnership with DFKI, the German Institute for Artificial Intelligence and yocoy, app developers par excellence.

 

3 Generations of Women – Shelle’s Top Tips

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Warning! This is a theory I have unsupported by any research. In other words, it’s an opinion. I believe that, and I think you find this in the workforce and this is particularly important for women, although if you’re a man, it might be useful to you too, there’s really three generations of women. 

There is the pre-feminist generation of women and they’re kind of dangerous for other women. Why? You see the pre-feminists tended to view other women as adversaries. In the grand competition for getting the attention of men and being able to influence men, women tended to see other women as adversaries and competitors. This is where the concept of the frenemy came up, you know, somebody who appears to be your friend, but really behaves like your enemy. These are the people who are delighted when something bad happens to you or they want to knock you down if you’re up. I remember myself when I was much younger working for an organization, a youth development organization and I showed up at this meeting where I had to make a presentation. I thought I had looked really good, I was really well prepared and my boss came up to me and she looked down at me and she said, you know, Shelle, your button looks like it’s about to break off. I realized that what she was trying to do was sabotage my confidence because I’m like, hey, I’m looking great. That would be the act of a frenemy, somebody from a pre-feminist generation. 

Then there are the feminists and in the feminist generation of women, women see other women as sisters and we need to support them. Now one of the dangers of the feminist generation is sometimes we support each other because we see the enemy is out there. It’s not like the truth is out there, the enemy is out there and that maybe going a bit too far. But the feminist generation did a lot of fighting and they had a lot of battles to win and even today, I mean I think we’re going backwards in terms of the number of women represented in leadership positions and this is something I think we really need to support, getting more women in leadership positions. But the feminists were good at fighting those battles and supporting each other through those battles and they come from a different age group than the pre-feminists, although sometimes pre-feminists can be young or old. It’s not necessarily always according to age. 

Then the last generation of women, these are the younger women today that are just growing up. They’re in their late teens, 20s, and even in their early 30s and I call them the post-feminist generation of women. You see, they weren’t around when their mothers and their aunts were fighting all those battles just to be heard and be taken seriously. They get the benefits of some of those battles that we had to fight frankly in my generation. What’s important to the post-feminist generation of women is to be independent and decide for yourself and express yourself. Now, although this generation of young women like to communicate with their friends, they don’t necessarily think about the impact of what they do. These are the women who show up at work with cleavage showing. You don’t want to see that particularly if you’re a woman of my age. But the reason people really shouldn’t be showing their cleavage at this age is –and this is what I teach women when I’m teaching presentation skills is if there are breasts in the room, nothing else can occur. I mean even me, I’m not a lesbian and I can’t take my eyes off a good cleavage. But can you hear what someone’s saying if their breasts are in the room? I don’t think so. 

So the post-feminist generation of women are busy expressing themselves, they’re not great at supporting each other. They tend to be very independent minded and they don’t tend, and I’m making a generalization here, to pay attention to the impact of what they do and what they say. You know what, I think these three generations of women each have lessons that they’ve learned about what to do and what not to do that if there were more dialogues they could each help each other. I hope this was an insight for you.

 Check out  www.ShellesTopTips.com if you would like some tips on communicating and solving some of the problems.

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com.  Please visit my speaking page too.