4 Anti-dotes to stop you from giving up

As we head into 2018 many people are doing their annual planning, goal-setting activities. (Notice I didn’t say resolutions – be it resolved that….. bleh!)

A lot people I know confess to being way too busy and that shows up by not keeping their own commitments to themselves and to others!


Here are 4 anti-dotes to giving up to help you achieve what is important to you!

  1. Say-Do Principle: If you want to have long term credibility with others, apply the Say-Do Principle.

Only say you will do something if you ARE going to do it, WHEN you said you would. Hold your breath and count to 10 before spouting any ill thought-out sentences that others will take as a commitment on your part.

Make this a rule that you follow. If you have to miss a deadline, communicate a new deadline as soon as possible. This will earn you much respect and trust from everyone you care about.

  1. Detail/Big Picture: One of the most important gifts you can give yourself if you want to be successful, is to identify where to place your attention. Often people get lost in the detail when trying to make a decision and lose sight of the larger stakes.

Recently someone I know was stuck about deciding whether to take a job that would mean a move to a region where she wanted to live, because her husband had not yet found a job in this region.  She was bogged down in the logistical details, forgetting that they had decided as a couple that the big goal was to live in the new region.

When she and her husband zoomed out to the big picture, and their overall goal, her next steps were obvious. Take the job! Interestingly when she kept her commitment to their goal, her husband was offered a job almost immediately after she said yes.

  1. Options/Procedures: When people are focused on options, alternatives and possibilities, they have big struggles completing commitments. We call this the Options Pattern from the Language and Behavior Profile (LAB Profile). These folks tend to be very creative but often do not follow through on what they say they are going to do.

If someone has a preference for a step by process when they do things, what we call a Procedures Pattern, they are more likely to follow through with their commitments. In fact, when you hear Procedure language, such as “the next step, then, after that, process, how to get to the end goal”, etc., it may actually indicate that the person IS committed to doing what they said they would do.

To improve your ability to follow through and actually do what you committed to doing, get yourself into a more Procedures mode. An easy way to do this is to schedule WHEN you will do the steps needed to fulfill your commitment right in your calendar. And be a slave to your calendar. Ok, not really a slave as such — but use your calendar to guide your actual work activities, and not only your appointments with others.

  1. Delegate: If you still suck at doing what you said you were going to do; hire someone and give them the task. I do this in my work by hiring freelancers on elance.com to do many of the tasks I don’t have time for. Obviously, if your commitment was about making time for looooove with your partner, delegating this task may lead to some undesired consequences. J

The Power of Commitment

When you only SAY the things you will actually DO, suddenly you have a super power! Others trust you and treat you with respect. You get the things you want from life because you have made the commitment to do what is needed, when you said you would.

A simple commitment: Say-Do, and create whatever you want!

Comments welcome!

I was a special “secret guest”.

The last time I did that was when I was born. No one knew my Mum was going to have twins until I showed up!

Shockers, eh?

Ingrid Huttary, a German NLP trainer, invited me to participate in an Online German-language NLP Congress. She asked if I could do it in German, and I’m reminded, of course, of my favourite dialogue from The Matrix:

“Can you fly this thing?”
“Not yet.”

“Noch nicht!”
That was my answer. So she graciously interviewed me in English and went to the trouble to add subtitles in German.

The interview is about the latest developments and applications with LAB Profile(r) and my upcoming new online programs.

And you can see the interview and if your German is better than mine, you can also get free access to the video interview with top German NLP trainers.

The interview is available free from this Sunday at 6pm Central European time until Monday 6pm CET. (12 noon Eastern time Sunday to 12 noon Eastern time Monday, 3am Monday Sydney time to 3am Tuesday Sydney time)

Get access to the inappropriate snippets below and register for the free full interview:

Vimeo

Facebook

I’m wondering why Ingrid chose the snippets of the interview that she did. Or maybe I’m just getting weirder!

Enjoy!

Shelle

3 key messages to grab your prospects’ attention

It’s been ages since I’ve sent out a newsletter. Perhaps it’s become TOO Irregular!
Anyway, here’s a brand new video that I created for the
Canadian Association of Professional Speakers.
If you need to grow your business, this can help!
3 Key Messages to Grab Your Prospects’ Attention
They have added dramatic music to the video, just to let you know! 

Please let me know what you think of this video
and how you would like to use these ideas!
You can make a comment below.

And if you have any suggestions for future videos!

Cheers,
Shelle

New NLP book on modelling from David Gordon

For those of you who want to learn and teach new skills quickly and effectively, here is a great piece of news.
David Gordon and Graham Dawes have produced a followup to their excellent book on Modelling; Expanding Your World.
They say:
“Ever ask yourself, “How does this person do that?” …and wish that you could do it as well? At the beating heart of everything we do is an essential set of patterns. Modeling is the process of eliciting those essential patterns.”

The new book is called: The Modelling Tutorial.
You can greatly enhance your learning/teaching skills with these 2 e-books.

Enjoy!
Cheers from Sydney at the NLP Conference.

The Hidden Triggers behind Trump’s Language and Behaviour

The Inauguration Speech and First Week in Office – Predicting Trump’s Behaviour

Donald Trump has made his first address and had his first week in office. People everywhere have been commenting, lamenting, protesting and some defending. (My Facebook news feed is full of this, including pleading from some to have a respectful conversation about it all.)

Once again I thought it might be interesting to see which LAB Profile® Triggers were behind his  speech, analysed by my patented Libretta® software. (www.weongozi.com)

And I also identified the Motivation Triggers™ behind his actions in his first week as president.

The three triggers Libretta® identified in President Trump’s speech were:

Toward Motivation Trigger™

People who are in a Toward mode are focusing on what they want and their goals. They want to achieve something and focus on where they are heading. (Libretta® doesn’t specify how precise someone’s goal is, only whether she or he is focused on moving toward something she or he wants.)

Away From Motivation Trigger™

When people are in an Away From mode, they pay attention to what is wrong or should be prevented and avoided. They are motivated to get away from the things that bother them.

Internal Motivation Trigger™

People who are in Internal mode are deciding for themselves, based on what is important to them. They tend to reject ideas when told what to do.

Here is the transcript with the Motivation Triggers™ listed by section. I divided the text up, creating different sections based on themes in order to identify the different Motivation Triggers™ as the theme changed. After the text, I will make some commentary.

Transcript with Motivation Triggers™
(If you don’t wish to read the text of the speech, you can scroll down to the analysis.)

TRUMP: Chief Justice Roberts, President Carter, President Clinton, President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans and people of the world, thank you. (APPLAUSE)

We, the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to rebuild our country and restore its promise for all of our people. (APPLAUSE)

Together, we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many years to come. We will face challenges, we will confront hardships, but we will get the job done.

Every four years, we gather on these steps to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power, and we are grateful to President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama for their gracious aid throughout this transition. They have been magnificent. Thank you. (APPLAUSE)

Today’s ceremony, however, has very special meaning because today, we are not merely transferring power from one administration to another or from one party to another, but we are transferring power from Washington, D.C. and giving it back to you, the people. (APPLAUSE)
INTERNAL

For too long, a small group in our nation’s capital has reaped the rewards of government while the people have borne the cost. Washington flourished, but the people did not share in its wealth. Politicians prospered, but the jobs left and the factories closed. The establishment protected itself, but not the citizens of our country. Their victories have not been your victories. Their triumphs have not been your triumphs. And while they celebrated in our nation’s capital, there was little to celebrate for struggling families all across our land. (APPLAUSE)

That all changes starting right here and right now because this moment is your moment, it belongs to you. (APPLAUSE)

TRUMP: It belongs to everyone gathered here today and everyone watching all across America. This is your day. This is your celebration. And this, the United States of America, is your country. (APPLAUSE)

What truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether our government is controlled by the people. (APPLAUSE)

January 20th, 2017 will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again. (APPLAUSE)

The forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer. (APPLAUSE)

Everyone is listening to you now. You came by the tens of millions to become part of a historic movement, the likes of which the world has never seen before. (APPLAUSE)
AWAY FROM

At the center of this movement is a crucial conviction that a nation exists to serve its citizens. Americans want great schools for their children, safe neighborhoods for their families, and good jobs for themselves. These are just and reasonable demands of righteous people and a righteous public.

But for too many of our citizens, a different reality exists: mothers and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities; rusted out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape of our nation; an education system flush with cash, but which leaves our young and beautiful students deprived of all knowledge; and the crime and the gangs and the drugs that have stolen too many lives and robbed our country of so much unrealized potential.

This American carnage stops right here and stops right now. (APPLAUSE)

We are one nation and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our dreams. And their success will be our success. We share one heart, one home, and one glorious destiny. The oath of office I take today is an oath of allegiance to all Americans. (APPLAUSE)

For many decades, we’ve enriched foreign industry at the expense of American industry; subsidized the armies of other countries, while allowing for the very sad depletion of our military. We’ve defended other nations’ borders while refusing to defend our own. (APPLAUSE)

And spent trillions and trillions of dollars overseas while America’s infrastructure has fallen into disrepair and decay. We’ve made other countries rich, while the wealth, strength and confidence of our country has dissipated over the horizon.
NO PARTICULAR TRIGGER IS DOMINANT (Note: I tried dividing this section into smaller parts, but each paragraph revealed no dominant pattern in the language structure.)

Trump: One by one, the factories shuttered and left our shores, with not even a thought about the millions and millions of American workers that were left behind. The wealth of our middle class has been ripped from their homes and then redistributed all across the world.

But that is the past. And now, we are looking only to the future. (APPLAUSE)
AWAY FROM

We assembled here today are issuing a new decree to be heard in every city, in every foreign capital, and in every hall of power. From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this day forward, it’s going to be only America first, America first. (APPLAUSE)

Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs will be made to benefit American workers and American families. We must protect our borders from the ravages of other countries making our products, stealing our companies and destroying our jobs.
(APPLAUSE)

Protection will lead to great prosperity and strength. I will fight for you with every breath in my body and I will never ever let you down. (APPLAUSE)

America will start winning again, winning like never before. (APPLAUSE)

We will bring back our jobs. We will bring back our borders. We will bring back our wealth. And we will bring back our dreams. (APPLAUSE)

We will build new roads and highways and bridges and airports and tunnels and railways all across our wonderful nation. We will get our people off of welfare and back to work, rebuilding our country with American hands and American labor. (APPLAUSE)

We will follow two simple rules; buy American and hire American. (APPLAUSE)
TOWARD

We will seek friendship and goodwill with the nations of the world, but we do so with the understanding that it is the right of all nations to put their own interests first. We do not seek to impose our way of life on anyone, but rather to let it shine as an example. We will shine for everyone to follow. (APPLAUSE)

We will reinforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will eradicate from the face of the Earth. (APPLAUSE)

At the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United States of America, and through our loyalty to our country, we will rediscover our loyalty to each other. When you open your heart to patriotism, there is no room for prejudice. (APPLAUSE)
AWAY FROM AND INTERNAL

The bible tells us how good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity. We must speak our minds openly, debate our disagreements honestly, but always pursue solidarity. When America is united, America is totally unstoppable. (APPLAUSE)

There should be no fear. We are protected and we will always be protected. We will be protected by the great men and women of our military and law enforcement. And most importantly, we will be protected by God. (APPLAUSE)

Finally, we must think big and dream even bigger. In America, we understand that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. We will no longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action, constantly complaining, but never doing anything about it. (APPLAUSE)

The time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action. (APPLAUSE)
AWAY FROM AND INTERNAL

Do not allow anyone to tell you that it cannot be done. No challenge can match the heart and fight and spirit of America. We will not fail. Our country will thrive and prosper again.

We stand at the birth of a new millennium, ready to unlock the mysteries of space, to free the earth from the miseries of disease, and to harness the energies, industries and technologies of tomorrow. A new national pride will stir ourselves, lift our sights and heal our divisions.

It’s time to remember that old wisdom our soldiers will never forget, that whether we are black or brown or white, we all bleed the same red blood of patriots. (APPLAUSE)

We all enjoy the same glorious freedoms and we all salute the same great American flag. (APPLAUSE)

And whether a child is born in the urban sprawl of Detroit or the wind-swept plains of Nebraska, they look up at the same night sky, they will their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator. (APPLAUSE)

So to all Americans in every city near and far, small and large, from mountain to mountain, from ocean to ocean, hear these words. You will never be ignored again. (APPLAUSE)

Your voice, your hopes, and your dreams will define our American destiny. And your courage and goodness and love will forever guide us along the way.
TOWARD

Together, we will make America strong again. We will make America wealthy again. We will make America proud again. We will make America safe again. And yes, together we will make America great again. (APPLAUSE)
INTERNAL

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America.
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
God bless America.

Analysis

In this speech, Donald Trump talked about what he is against, what he will move the country Away From. But his language structure also indicates what he wants to go Toward – America first, America first.

This is quite different than the ratio of Triggers in the first presidential debate, (which I analysed in another blog), possibly indicating that the actual text here was mainly written by other people. Naturally! In this address, there is proportionally, significantly more focus on Toward, than what he has done at other times. In the debates he used mainly Away From and Internal with very little Toward.

This is to be expected, as one hopes a first speech to be more inspirational and aspirational. Comparing the level of grammar and vocabulary used between this speech and the debate, there is also a difference (this speech there were more sophisticated use of grammar and vocabulary), but other software can evaluate this much more objectively.

Compared to the debates and his many “off the cuff” campaign speeches, which focused on what was wrong with America, this one set out the principles to which he is moving Toward.

Buy American and hire American.” “… only America first, America first.”

But what about the Motivation Triggers™ driving his actions?

Already in his first week, he signed executive orders to start the removal of the Affordable Health Care Act, revived the Keystone XL Oil Pipeline, closed immigration to Syrian refugees and started the process to build a wall between the US and Mexico.

He has also produced numerous Tweets defending himself and attacking others as @realDonaldTrump and not as @POTUS (President of the US). Although the Libretta® software does not identify all of the LAB Profile® Motivation Triggers™, we can look at the behaviours of a person to understand the combination of triggers driving someone’s actions.

His first week actions and communications appear to have the following Motivation Trigger™ combination:

Proactive – need to act without thinking
Away From – Motivated to move away from what you don’t like
External – Cares deeply about the opinions of others, reputation, influenced by outside sources
Feelings – In stressful situations, gets into a negative emotional state and stays stuck in the emotion
My/. – My rules for me/I don’t care about anyone else
Automatic Convincer – gathers a small chunk of information and decides immediately, unlikely to change his mind

When people have this combination of Triggers, they are likely to:

  • As soon as they see/hear/feel criticized or slighted in any way, they will immediately counterattack without thinking their actions through(Away From, External, Proactive, Feelings, Automatic)
  • They will continue the counterattack because they continue to feel the negative emotions associated with the criticism (Feelings, External)
  • Even if the counter-attack is considered inappropriate by others, it doesn’t matter since “the rules” in society don’t apply to them. (My/.)

Look and sound familiar?

I suspect that compared to the parts of the inauguration speech that were Toward, the above behaviours will be more typical President Donald Trump.

What do you think? Please leave a reply.

Meta Programs and the LAB Profile®: What’s the difference?

There are now over 550 LAB Profile(r) Consultant/Trainer Certification graduates from around the world.
“How strange,” I thought, given that NLP is used so much by trainers, facilitators, consultants and coaches, even if they don’t mention NLP.

Why haven’t more people been using the LAB Profile and contributing to the ever-increasing knowledge base, especially since the LAB Profile has become the accepted way of teaching Meta Programs in many countries?

So I asked some questions and here is an unscientific sample of what I heard on some NLPers’ beliefs about Meta Programs and the LAB Profile(r):

* Meta Programs are the same thing as the LAB Profile(r). * I already studied them and know what I need to know. * They are just filters and who needs more filters? * Nice to know but there are no practical uses for them.  What!? I was shocked!

And all these years I have been using the LAB Profile(r) along with my NLP skills to create a very lucrative practice helping organizations and people.

Since 1998 I have been certifying consultants, trainers, coaches and executives from around the world to use the  LAB Profile(r) (Language & Behaviour Profile) in business and other organizations. Highly-skilled people attend this program because they know it will dramatically increase their ability to help clients solve difficult problems as well as create a unique opportunity for their careers.

Learn more about the LAB Profile(r) »

Some Examples from my consulting business:  

  • Assisted a manufacturer to avoid a strike and get the first 5 year contract with their union in the history of the company;
  • Decoded specialized LAB Profile market research to develop successful advertising strategies;
  • Transformed entire call centre representative behaviour to stop the bleeding of customers from an insurance company;
  • Helped negotiators to increase revenue by millions of dollars by changing their behaviours with their customers.
  • Appeared on national television using the LAB Profile(r) to decode election strategies for the general public.In short, my NLP and LAB Profile skills have made my fee irrelevant in the market place. My customers are willing to pay whatever it costs to take advantage of the insights and skills afforded them by these skills. Perhaps the information has not been getting across to NLP-based trainers and consultants, so I would like to correct some misunderstandings.

What are the Differences between Meta Programs and the LAB Profile?

Meta Programs, originally developed by Leslie Cameron-Bandler (now Lebeau), describe what information a person takes in or gives out. Are they filtering for information, place, person, thing or activity? Do they notice sameness, similarities or contrasts? And many, many more filters.
When I learned these patterns in an NLP Master Practitioner program in Paris in the 1980’s, they are rarely connected to how to detect them and what to do once you know the patterns. I did learn however that some patterns were better than others; it was better to be internal than external, better to approach than avoid etc., a belief I have since rejected.

I was fascinated by the information at the time, but also thought there was nothing one could do with the information. In 1984 I translated Rodger Bailey’s LAB Profile(r) manual into French when I working in Paris.

I was immediately struck by the differences between his model and the standard NLP Meta Programs. I chose to use and develop the LAB Profile rather than any of the other psycho-metric profiling tools because of its simplicity, accuracy and usefulness. While the LAB Profile was based on the original Meta Programs and Noam Chomsky’s deletions, distortions and generalizations, only the LAB Profile consists of:

  1. A reasonable number of patterns to learn,
  2. A methodology for detecting the patterns, and
  3. A specific set of Influencing Language to match each pattern.

Meta Programs

Development

LAB Profile

Benefit

60 patterns

Summarizing, concentrating on essentials

14 practical Categories

Easy to learn and remember

No methodology

Structured approach

Questionnaire for

eliciting patterns

with clear indicators

Easy to use for research

with groups, & in casual conversations

No specific language

Research and

development of

language structures

Matches the Motivation Trigger and Influencing Language for each pattern

Dramatically increases ability to be persuasive  because it  fits language to internal mental structure

No practical

applications

On going research and development

Used for mass & interpersonal communication, self-knowledge, psycho-metric profiles

Incredible potential for creating new and rigourous applications

Rodger had also discovered some practical applications. This was something I could actually use. At the time we included the LAB Profile(r) in a program called “Managing High Performance Teams” and I began to explore what else could be done with it.

On top of this several people have used the LAB Profile(r) as a research topic for their Master’s or Ph.D. theses. Several psychological profiling tools have been developed using the LAB Profile(r) to use with individuals and teams.

(See Jay Arthur’s NLP Personal Profile, Patrick Merlevede’s IWAM, Arne Maus’ Identity-Compass and Jaap Hollander’s MPA Mind-Sonar)

All of this information on what uses trainers, consultants, facilitators and coaches are doing with the LAB Profile is irrelevant if people won’t give it a try for themselves. I wrote the book Words That Change Minds quite a few years ago to describe the Patterns and give information on how to use them for a few practical applications. But that was only the beginning.

Since then, we have discovered many more practical applications for consultants and trainers. Imagine being able to understand, and predict people’s behaviour using a rigourous, empirical and scientific method for motivation. The LAB Profile is an exciting alternative to standard problem-solving approaches which our customers have all heard before.

But don’t believe me. Check out my books Words That Change Minds and The Customer is Bothering Me at www.theShellestore.com

or have a look at the LAB Profile Consultant/Trainer Certification Program at www.LABProfileCertification.com

Please email me at shelle@successtrategies.com and visit my website for more information www.WordsThatChangeMinds.com

Here are some examples of the LAB Profile practical applications many of us have created over the years:

  • Marketing Research: Since these patterns vary by Context, several methodologies have been developed to empirically determine the different below-conscious motivations customers have for competing products and services. This is used to create whole mass communication strategies.

  • Coaching: I developed a methodology using the LAB Profile called Conversational Coaching, whereby the coach elicits conversationally the LAB Profile patterns of the present and desired state and casually overlaps the Influencing Language to enable the client to experience the desired state and develop his or her own solutions.

  • Training for Behaviour Change: Using the LAB Profile you can choose activities which will create the desired behaviour changes for any target group, first by decoding the Motivation Patterns for the group and then understanding which LAB Profile patterns are addressed by any given activity.

  • People Management: You can train managers to identify the LAB Profile Patterns and thereby the strengths of their team members, so they can adjust assignments to suit what staff members naturally do best at work.

  • Recruitment: You can do a LAB Profile for a position and corporate culture to create an advertisement that will be irresistible to those who fit and turn off those who do not fit. You can the screen the selected short-listed candidates to find the best match. (Note: The LAB Profile does not measure skills, knowledge or attitude; rather it measures whether the person has the Motivation Traits and Internal Processing to fit the tasks and the environment; in other words “fit”.)

  • Skills Training: Learning the LAB Profile will enable people to develop finely-tuned abilities in the following areas: Influencing & Persuading, Negotiating, Leadership, Conflict Resolution, Sales and Customer Service.

  • Consulting and Problem-Solving: I developed an easy to use LAB Profile methodology to diagnose and develop solutions to any communication problem. This is a favourite amongst business leaders and consultants.

  • Implementing Organizational Change: You can diagnose the present and desired organizational cultures in LAB Profile terms and determine the appropriate change methodology for maximum sustainable results.

  • Team Building: When you do a team LAB Profile, you can determine the team’s strengths and weaknesses with regards to their mandate. You can also identify communication patterns within the team and between this team and others, as well as determine the patterns of the next person to add to the team.

  • Teaching and Learning: Teachers and students can easily identify the LAB Profile Patterns which facilitate or cause difficulties in learning for individuals and whole groups. Minor adjustments can then be made to the teaching/learning methodology to correct any problems. I gave a workshop to the National Indian Education Conference in Canada (for teachers on Native Indian Reservations) on how to prevent drop-outs using this methodology.

  • Modelling: The LAB Profile Patterns can be used to decode any strategy or any skill, simply by identifying the behaviours (internal and external) used. This is an essential part of the modeling demonstrate this methodology to help students with their modeling project.

If you are interested in booking me (Shelle Rose Charvet) for a presentation, keynote or workshop contact me at shelle@wordsthatchangeminds.com.

Achieve goals using your own success strategies

Happy new year to you! I wish you all the best!

Here are some quick tips to help you have a successful 2017,
based on your own success strategies!

Find out what your unconscious mind already knows.

If you like what’s in this video, check out my mini e-book,
Wishing, Wanting and Achieving, only $9.99
Read transcript.

How to stay calm when dealing with your family

The holidays are near. Family time! Can you cope? Want some easy tips manage your stress and emotions? Have a look at this and let me know what you think. (But no comments on my hair please !)

How to have a dynamic opening to your presentation

You compete for your audience’s attention. Every 5 to 15 seconds, they decide
if you are more interesting or if what’s happening on their phone or computer is more attractive.
Don’t lose the battle! Here’s how to have a dynamic opening to your presentation.

What do you think? How do you open your presentations to get and keep your audience’s attention?