shelle rose charvet

Shelle, you and the coaches have given me much, much more than I would thought in my wildest dreams. It is a practical, highly useful training and the best I have ever received in my life. — Wim Thielemans, Belgium

Words that Change Minds

Words That Change MindsMastering the Language of Influence

by Shelle Rose Charvet

Edition: Paper Back Book (221 pages)
Price: $24.97 US

Here’s what people are saying about the program

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Words that Change Minds is a remarkable book. Shelle illustrates, in clear language, those factors that will motivate people. She demonstrates how to communicate, how to sell, how to manage, all the while respecting people at a deep level. Her examples, often highly amusing, will allow you to recognize those around you, AND to know what to do about them.”

- Jack Canfield, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Here’s how one person got what she wanted from Words that Change Minds.

Communication problems with her boss

“I need to find a new job right away,” she said. “I can’t stand my boss and I heard that you do career profiles.” About halfway through the feedback on the career profile she called a halt to the whole process. “Oh my God,” she said, “My boss and I are obstinate in exactly the same way! We are constantly arguing. Neither of us will budge from our positions. No wonder we haven’t been getting along!”

“Can you show me how to communicate with him?” I taught her the exact language to use and avoid. Within two months she called to tell me of a major promotion she had just received. Today she is one of the highest ranking women in her sector in the country.

Poor communication is today’s number one problem at work, at home and in the world at large.

Discords among people are frequent: from annoyances such as too much email, 20 minute phone messages, to life long parent-child resentments, and intractable conflicts between nations. Finding solutions to communication problems has been the focus of much study and the creation of many models.

The Problem with Psycho-Metric Assessments

Many psycho-metric assessments have been created to explain the differences between people which cause communication problems. These assessments often require sophisticated computerized instruments to administer. Even then, many of them only allow a few very specialized applications. Or worse, some stick people in boxes with labels, like round pegs into square holes. Often they do not recognize people’s inherent flexibility to shift thinking and behavior as situations change. It is not surprising that a great many individuals, while fascinated by questionnaires, tend to discount the sweeping generalizations that these instruments produce. People often prefer to rely solely on their intuition and gut feelings to make critical decisions such as hiring or choosing a spouse. I once told a CEO that if he hired his executive vice-president because he liked the person, he would be in big trouble. The last thing he needed was to recruit someone who thought just like he did.

People Communicate Using Their Own Filters, Identity, Beliefs and Values

It is well-known that people communicate through a set of filters shaped by history, sense of identity, beliefs about what is true, and their values about what is right, as well as perceptions and interpretations of what is going on. When someone else communicates with us, we squeeze the message through our own personal filtering system to understand.

“Words That Change Minds is required reading in the University of Texas Executive Coaching Program.  Your book has played a significant role in my learning and development as a professional communicator… I suspect my sentiment is shared by many of my cohorts.”
– Mark Brightenburg, Dallas

We now know that, beyond these differences; each of us also has unique ways of thinking, processing and getting motivated. We pay attention to various aspects of reality, based on how we individually use our brains. Some of us think in detailed linear sequences, while others prefer to envision a larger whole. Some people are attracted to those things which are different and new, while others attend to what is the same or similar to what they already know.

But what if you could really understand what someone means when he or she talks to you? Even better, what if you could predict someone’s behavior based simply on what they said? Best of all — what if you could influence that behavior by how you responded?

I investigated the field to find some answers to these complex questions of understanding, communicating and influencing. I wanted to avoid facile solutions. Any good theory must be well-founded and verifiable by personal experience. It would also be applicable for a wide range of human activities, respectful of individual people and their differences, and learnable without a doctorate or engineering degree. Above all, it would have to improve communication between people.

Neuro-linguistic … What?

While teaching communication seminars in Europe, I started to hear about some interesting work that came from California. I began to explore an approach called Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). In spite of its techno-babble name, it seemed to be designed to reach into people’s minds and discover how specifically each person is unique. It was based on studying some of the great communicators and therapists of our time. NLP examined how they were able to accomplish what they did, without the usual investigation into the reasons why people have problems. It was about learning strategies that work, not about scrutinizing the failures that people experience.

The Results Were Remarkable; Rapport, Changing Beliefs, Influencing

I wanted to find out if these people were onto something. I took some in-depth courses and began to test their techniques in my work. The results were remarkable. I learned how to create rapport with anyone, to change beliefs that had been limiting me, and to help others do the same.

Being a doubting Thomas, I liked the requirement that every intervention be tested for possible negative consequences prior to being completed with a person. If someone were actually to let go of the belief that rainy days make them sick, a practitioner would have to check first if getting sick on rainy days had some positive benefits that needed to be met in some other healthier way for the person, before helping them replace the belief.

The Most Incredible Influencing Tool

I encountered The Language and Behavior (LAB) Profile, a tool developed from NLP that completely changed the way I communicate. It is both rigorous and flexible. It can be woven naturally into casual conversation. I have spent the years since then exploring its uses in a wide range of contexts. I have used it to:

  • create powerful presentations for large groups of people
  • redesign marketing and sales processes to help companies successfully reach their major customers
  • attract and select only the right candidates for key executive positions
  • help clients I coached and counselled
  • create irresistible influencing language for teenagers, and
  • help organizations dramatically improve their communication about change with their own people.

While this tool has been widely taught, it had been treated as an abstract theory about the differences between people. I kept finding new ways of applying it and getting dramatic results. I wondered why no one had written a book on all the things you could do with it, provided you took the time to master the skill.

This book is the result of testing it out with me and with my clients.

Words That Change Minds will teach you how to:

  • establish a deep level of rapport and communicate effectively with anyone
  • take the pain out of implementing organizational change
  • shorten the sales cycle and guarantee customer satisfaction
  • design powerful marketing and advertising campaigns
  • hire people who are motivated to perform
  • dramatically improve results in negotiation and litigation
  • adapt training and education programs to satisfy diverse needs
  • increase self-knowledge and self-esteem
  • simplify career counselling and professional coaching
  • create high performance teams by managing peoples’ strengths instead of suffering from their weaknesses

If this looks like a book you could use, give it a try!

Minutes after I had begun to read Words that Change Minds., I found something of practical value to me in what I was doing right then. That’s the kind of book it is – a compendium of practical applications to help you communicate with and manage people. We’re all different, but when our differences are understood and catered to, most problems can be solved elegantly. I strongly recommend this book to anyone who really cares about other people and how they think.”

- Peter Kline, co-author of Ten Steps to a Learning Organization

 

Words That Change Minds gave me a level of awareness and precision in communication that I did not think was possible. I used to get frustrated when I worked with others who had different communication patterns than my own. Now, I get curious. What a breakthrough!”

- Clay Conner, Strategic Planning Analyst, Idaho Power, Boise, Idaho

Edition: Paper Back Book (221 pages)
Price: $24.97 US
+Add to cart

Also Available in E-Book Formats
Special Price:  $9.97 US

Kindle (.mobi) Purchase
Epub (open industry format, good for Stanza reader, others) Purchase
PDF (good for highly formatted books, or for home printing) Purchase
LRF (for Sony Reader) Purchase
Palm Doc (PDB) (for Palm reading devices) Purchase

No risk! If you purchase this program and are not happy with it, we will refund your money.

Check out our special deals if you get more than one program!

This book presents meta-programs (the content-free filters we use to make up our model of the world) in a simple, understandable and highly readable way. It’s based on the Language and Behaviour (LAB) Profile developed by Rodger Bailey – a simplification of the original 60 (!) meta-programs down to 14, along with the questions you can use to elicit them. This is a kind of psychometric test, although as people may have different meta-programs in different contexts, and they may change over time, it’s not about pigeonholing people. Shelle also tells you the kind of language to use to reach particular kinds of people – useful in sales, negotiation, motivation and deciding who to hire for a particular job. The book is chatty with a good sense of humour. As an NLP trainer I recommend it! — Andy Smith, Transformation Training, England

Using the technology described in this book you will recognize how a person is motivated (or motivates himself), and how a person would like to organize their work. It is clear that once you have that information, it becomes “easy” to organize work in such a way that they get the kind of job that will fit (or in other words: this is how you hire for attitude and manage to retain people!). When I saw the first version of this book in 1995, little did I know that 5 years later 50% of my income would be linked to applying the lessons from this book…This is really powerful stuff that helps companies to get a competitive edge…If you didn’t know about it, feel free to consider it one of the best kept secrets! — Patrick Merleverde, Author of 7 Steps to Emotional Intelligence, Belgium

Not everyone is influenced in the same way. To know the difference is all the difference. If you want to be successful in influence, this is the book. If you want to hit all the pitfalls, don’t read this book. — Daniel DeBlock. USA

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who really cares about other people and how they think. — Peter Kline, Co-author of Ten Steps to Learning Organization, USA

After reading Shelle’s book, I asked her to train my management, customer service representatives, consultants and sales staff. Not only does it work in achieving bottom line results in business, she also taught my wife and I how to communicate at a new level. Shelle is the master of influential communication. I strongly urge all business leaders to read this book …. it could change your life! — Richard A. Grehalva, Vice President, CSC Health Care Systems, USA

Excellent book – would recommend this book to anyone wanting to use NLP in the business world. Written in a down-to-earth, extremely readable, interesting style with useful real world examples … and with a great sense of humor! — David Kintler, President, SalesWinners, Inc, USA

Using the LAB Profile after reading and enjoying your book will enable me to better calibrate to the situation of any team. So I can even better react to the moods and problems of the different teams. The main problem in doing project work is that most money is wasted by all the personal problems and moods of the people. Imagine, we did recalculation and found out that in one project we had planned to spend about 250.000 DEM. Finally we spent 400.000 DEM and we found out that the same thing could have been realized with 85.000 DEM. We localized the problem in our way of building teams. Rebuilding the team, changing some members to other teams brought us great success. We now have teams consisting of people who discuss and exchange ideas without fighting. So, dear Shelle, let me say thank you for this book.
Henning Hirschmann
— Henning Hirschmann, Germany

Congratulations on a most brilliant book. I have not read another book with such excellent coverage on meta programs well presented and very easy to understand and use. Thank you for that. — Gavin Ritz, Human Resources Consultant, Auckland, New Zealand

The book is pure genius—but that only reflects the author. I’ll be giving it a third read and will devote a full week’s class time to it. — Richard M. Gray, Ph.D. Assistant Professor, School of Criminal Justice, Fairleigh Dickinson University, Canada

Words That Change Minds is required reading in the University of Texas Executive Coaching Program. Your book has played a significant role in my learning and development as a professional communicator…I suspect my sentiment is shared by many of my cohorts. — Mark Brightenburg, United States

Shelle’s book recommended to me and I was able to immediately apply it to several different aspects of my work and personal life.

The quality of new managers I recruited improved dramatically because of the changes I was able to implement in the employment postings, candidate interviews, and after-hire meetings and interactions. By creating a LAB Profile of the ideal candidate prior to any of the recruiting process, my HR manager and I were able to narrowly focus the applicants we attracted, streamline the total process, and produce much better long term results.
— Lem Fugitt, Vice President, Digital Imaging Division, Seiko Instruments USA Inc. San Jose, California, USA.

Shelle in person is far better than the book, but the book is great too! Thank you. — Gail Erickson, Agriculture & Agri-Food, Ottawa, Canada

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